


Daily Heroescope

by gooligan



Series: Heroescope [1]
Category: DCU, Marvel 3490
Genre: Other
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2011-11-27
Updated: 2012-06-02
Packaged: 2017-10-26 14:17:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 128
Words: 41,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/284244
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/gooligan/pseuds/gooligan
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>posting daily more or less, the horoscope for heroes, the stars speak to the capes, latex and fate meet in . . . THE HEROESCOPE</p><p>Featuring one 'scope per day, selected based on the sign for that day.  Sorry to the other twelve but RL calls!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 27 Nov. Sagittarius

27 Nov. Sagittarius  
Heroes:  
We all know it’s a big pain to have that secret life, hero, but this is a good day to hide that anger and pain because it’s just one spiffy fine-o LOVELY day if you just look up from the spandex and check out the world! Venus is in your 2nd House of Income so this is totally the day to buy a lottery ticket and save that homeless dude. He just might be the Howard Hughes! Think about why you wear that cape and about the people you’ve saved and smile!

Villains:  
We all know you bad boys and girls are pissed at the world and the world totally deserves it, but maybe this is a day for a picnic. Take a break from the evil or, if you must, just knock over one or two major banks and leave the military-industrial complex takeover for another day. With Venus in your 2nd house of Income, this is the day those illicit deals and counterfeit bonds come through for you, you Midases and Midasettes! Just remember, for one day at least, you really are as brilliant, strong, and all around cool as you think you are and it’s time to hit your happy place for a change and lessez les bon temps rouler!


	2. 28 Nov. 2011

28 Nov. Sagittarius

Heroes:

Has everyone been treating you like a sidekick, hero? It’s time to stand up and say “NO MORE!” That’ll be a tough job – face it. A man or woman who puts on the latex and the cape isn’t a shy, retiring person and respecting your boundaries may not be a tool on their utility belt. Don’t make ultimatums. This isn’t a day for winning that big respect, but it’s also not a day to walk off into the sunset and start your own spin off. Just make sure your message is heard and then move on, and live to fight that battle in another issue.

 

Villains:

Sometimes it sucks to be you. Heroes, law, other villains, your main squeeze (or squeezes, you are a villain after all, you scamp!), heck, even your long distance carrier push you around and if you blow up and disintegrate a few of them then that’s it. You just lost the deposit on your lease. It’s a tough life. They just don’t respect your boundaries and yeah, so, maybe your boundaries include a little bit of identity theft but come on, everybody’s doing it these days. It’s time to stand your ground and make your statement in 24 point font, underline, bold, but be ready to cut and run once the deed is done because you aren’t likely to win that one today. Don’t try to force that victory, Big V. This storyline isn’t plotted for next issue. Just make sure they know you were there ( nice laser-etched portraits on the moon are always in taste!) and walk away to win that fight another day.


	3. Heroescope for Nov. 29 2011 - Sagittarius!

Sagittarius 29 Nov.  
Heroes:  
You are a hero walking on sunshine today as the Moon’s harmonious connection with the Sun has you in a harmonious mood with the world! Your daily life may be dull, your day job may suck, but you are above it all today. The ties the world tries to put on you are many and as lovers, bosses, sidekicks/heroes, and teammates try to claim your time but your need to be free is so strong you can’t be bothered. Of course, that doesn’t mean they understand when you tell them, but that’s okay. No one can tell you what to think. Just take a moment to visit your personal astral plane where the sidekicks don’t backtalk, the significant others are patient, and the boss gives you a raise! You are large and in charge and that’s enough to make you happy. For now.

Villains:  
The Moon is in harmony with the Sun in your optimistic sign today and what does that mean, sunbeam? Yeah, so, you feel good and you just cut off that jerk on the highway, and stole a parking spot before that buttoned down yuppy in the Beamer. The secret identity is a bit of a pain today with all those noisy yapping mundane types trying to tie you down but you just gotta be free, you bad boy or girl. It’s a nice day so you tell them in small words but really, who are they? You don’t need to justify yourself to them! Just take a moment to get away from it all, visit that inner secret lair and blow up a few of those mental life model decoys you have lying around. You know the ones, they wear that bright spandex and have the perfect smiles and hair, just like a certain hero you know. Or maybe they wear baggy suits like the boss or way-too-pricey designer clothes (purchased with that credit card that YOU put in the work to steal, thank you very much). And BOOM! That mental RPG has the sweetest laser sights, baby. BOOM-shaka-laka-laka-BOOMBOOMBOOM! That’s your kind of harmony, villain!


	4. 30 November Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The planets and stars are talking, Hero, don't let the vmail pick it up!

30 Nov. Sagittarius

 

Heroes:

Everybody knows you’re a genius, Hero, but it’s a lot easier to talk the talk than to walk the walk! Today you can dazzle and amaze friends and co-workers but can you get anything done? Good question! Rein in the alter-ego and focus on one ego at a time. This is NOT the day to open that door to the Negative Zone. Remember, there’s always somebody out there who is ready to step on your cape and take you down a peg. Showing off will backfire if you take the time to have a little common sense. It’s better to do it slow and right than to do it fast and flashy.

 

Villains:

Of course you’re a genius! If you weren’t a mad genius you’d be dead, in jail, or selling mortgage backed securities on Wall Street (though maybe you DID do that last. It was a fine bit of villainy after all . . . nah. Not flashy enough!). We all know you have Olympic level monologuing chops but it’s time to show us a little speed walking to go with that fast talking. Get the split personalities and infinite Earth alternate identities in line, Villain, before that big talk backfires on you. If you don’t want to wind up in a second feature of a cancelled book, then go break the piggy bank and get your common cents!


	5. 1 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey Hero, you have big plans for that new look and a new book but before you strike out on your own as a solo act, remember

the people you passed on the way up. If you see a chance to be a special guest star, go for it but this isn't the time to

plan a long run of issues: set a goal, commit, and get to work. Ditch the holograms, cancel the alternate realities, and

take some real steps instead. They may be small but they get you closer to your goal.

Villains:

You're big and you're bad and it may look like you don't need the losers who've been hanging on your coattails, but

remember that sometimes you are looking down the barrel of a cannon and it's really nice to have some fodder around on a

day like that. A smarty pants like you will make the most of any opportunity you see but don't waste your time playing

with the fantasmotron. This isn't the time for daydreams - it's the time to get in gear, take some real steps, and set up

those boobytraps for that long term dastardly plan you REALLY want. Small steps are still real steps.


	6. 02 December Sagittarius

December 2 Sagittarius

Heroes:

We know you love the team, hero, but sometimes you need a solo issue. Today, Mars is squaring the Sun in your sign and you are feeling bossy and bad, but don't let your evil alter ego off the leash. For now, it's smarter to try to get along instead of being the title character. This is a time to work simple and smart. Complex plans will just trip up. Sometimes those multi-thread plotlines have just got a few too many threads for your own good. Don't let this one unravel on you - keep it simple and get to the point. One isn't the loneliest number, it's the simplest number so don't be afraid to go ahead for a one-shot today. Waiting around for the rest of the team can get your title delayed! Show what you can do, rack up the sales on that one-shot, and set am example that everyone will want to follow.

Villains:

Hey villain, we know you're frustrated anyway - after all, why else are you a villain? But with Mars squaring the Sun in your sign, getting those complicated evil schemes running is about as easy as squaring the circle. Keep it stupidly simple for a day or two, keep your head down and get to work. It's great if the other villains catch some teamwork but don't hold your breath or you could be feeling very blue. Just take your backup storyline in hand, and show how the bad boys get it done. Make them all want to follow your lead and tamper with the next witness or write the next piece of spam!


	7. 03 December Sagittarius

December 3 Sagittarius

Heroes:

The Moon is dropping into your 4th House of Roots now, Sagittarius heroes, and that may make it the right time for a flashback. But nostalgia just won't cut it unless your past casts the Bat signal on your present and helps you understand how you got here. You might want to look at the plot summaries of your next issue, but the past is prologue to the future, hero. Without your secret origin, your future makes no sense. It's time to listen to the inner child who first put on that costume, and take a short dip in lake you.

Villains:

Hey villains, that bad boy Moon has wandered into the fourth house on Roots street and we all know what that means! It's time to fire up that flash-back-mo-tron and shoot the hero of your choice! But while you're at it, take a trip down memory lane yourself because sometimes the future only makes sense through the lens of the past and flashbacks aren't just for heroes anymore. Your secret origins are the key to your soon-to-be-very public future so don't spank your inner child until you hear what he has to say.


	8. 04 December Sagittarius

4 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

You got hit with the smarty pants ray today and suddenly know all, tell all! And you sure are putting in the work to make sure everybody around you knows it, too! Time to put that super-brains helmet back on, Hero, and figure out that no one wants to feel dumb so maybe it’s time to stop ordering around your team and spend some time listening to them instead, before that big brain makes you fall over like Humpty Dumpty. That’s so Silver Age! Take the tacky genius helment off, get with the Modern Age and work on the emotional intelligence for a change. Remember, you can only wear the helmet for an issue or two but you can milk the angst for a hundred issue run!

Villains:

A villain is supposed to be an egotistical mad genius – it’s sort of a requirement for union membership really – but the tasteful bad gals and guys know that it’s tacky to monologue. Beware the trashy talky thing today, villain, and don’t let it all hang out. Telling everyone how smart you are just makes your allies want to see you in a cell with a cellmate from one of those teams you were smart enough to ditch. (You know the one. His code name was NOT Mr. Rhinoplasty but no matter what you called him behind his back). It’s time to put take the evil genius hat off for a while and try the manipulative puppetmaster hat for a change. Stop pretending and show the brainiacs and world-devouring telepaths how a REAL sociopath gets it done!


	9. 05 December Sagittarius

December 5 Sagittarius

Heroes:  
Hey Hero, you got hit with the projecting empath stick today and that’s a nice thing since your positive energy and good vibrations are giving a buzz to everyone around you! Don’t try to keep it to yourself – it’s not time for a solo feature. It’s a day for a team book. Those shared connections will let you expand your issue run and reach more people than you ever thought you could. Mine the zeitgeist and let your super-excited state touch the people around for a quantum leap to a great day!

Villains:

Hey Villain, we know that good vibrations is usually just an online store to you, but it’s a day to be inspiring. Pull a gang together and go on a rampage – you’re a hot property today and your energy is as infectious as a genetically engineered super-bug! Get out there and make connections, chat up that hot little evildoer next door, start a viral email scam, commit a bit of high-spirited fraud and theft. Most of all, make connections. You’ll find you can reach out and touch more people than you ever thought possible.


	10. 06 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

It's one of those days, hero. Maybe the Joker shot you. Maybe a virus took away your mutant powers, or perhaps you've been brain damaged by the Big O (take your pick for how to interpret that, be it too much TV, shopping, or the Green Goblin!) It doesn't really matter how it happened, but your choices are narrowed today. Don't let it stop you. Focus on your possiblities, not your limits. Your friends and teammates might think you're crazy. They just want to protect you, but don't let it stop you. Let them do the worrying while you get on with your life and take advantage of every opportunity you can beg, borrow or make.

 

Villains:

Okay, so you lost that super-smackdown with Hero X and your defense attorney sucks like a black hole. Your choices may be narrower, but that doesn't mean you're out of options. It's time to stop whining about being a contender and buckling down to the opportunities you can buy, borrow, counterfeit, or steal. That's right. You're a villain, so use it, bay-beee! Who cares what the shrinks, henchpersons (the politically correct villain knows that hench opportunities are no longer limited to just men!) , girlfriends, boyfriends, tabloids, you name it, who CARES what they think? Let them do the worry thing and you do the REAL thing. While they talk-talk, you can walk-walk right out of this tight spot and into your future.


	11. 07 December Sagittarius

December 7 Sagittarius

Heroes:  
You are one rich hero today, in body if not in bank account! Today is like an astrological spa visit for you, with the Moon in your 6th House of Well-Being. This isn't one of those wimpy "buff your nails" spas either. You will be thinking of beefing up your health routine today, with a better diet and exercise. If some villain has smacked you around, this is the day to get the body cast cut off and get working on getting back in shape. But remember, the stars don't advise crash diets, hero! Don't set yourself up for failure by taking on too much at once. Work small, in incremental steps, and the stars and planets will help you a lot more than if you try to fix all the world's problems at once. After all, even a Superman is not a super-HUMAN man!

 

Villains:

Hey villain, did some twerp of a hero open a can of ass-whup on you? Well it's time to bounce back! The Moon got drunk and spent the night in your 6th House of Well-Being. Don't waste the opportunity - pick its pocket and steal its credit cards! Use them to get that home gym you've been eyeing and get to work. But remember, if you bite off more than you can chew, some hero's gonna masticate you. That's right, little bites, little bits, and small steps add up to great plans. The stars know that it's so tempting to dream up all those keen diabolical schemes for global conquest but the speedsters always run face first into a force field. Better to start slow and small and let that plan avalanche for you. You work on the snowballs, villain, and the stars will help you drop that snowy doom on the Ski Resort of Good!


	12. 08 December Sagittarius

December 8 Sagittarius

Heroes:  
Hey you brainy Hero, we know you usually put that big brain to the secrets of the universe but today the negative zone is a zero, huh? Don't worry. You aren't being possessed by alien bean counters. (Probably, we mean, if it persists call your doctor and get your astral plane tuned up but give it a day or two). As long as it's just for a day or two, you can blame Taurus's Moon stopping by in at your 6th House of Details. Yes, there is such a thing and it's not where you take your car when it's dirty. Just go ahead and simplify, hero. The uncertainties are a lot more manageable when there aren't as many of them. Focus on concrete details for today. Your restless, questing mind could come back tomorrow - or not - when the Moon in changeable Gemini.

Villains:  
Hey villain, we know you evil geniuses don't spend a lot of time on planet mundane, but today you devils really are all about the details! Taurus's Moons are breaking and entering in your 6th House of Details today. It's time to do the housekeeping, reevaluate the team, cut out the deadwood, and make the membership list more manageable. Cut that team membership to half a page, simplify those subplots, and focus on a solo feature. Don't worry about getting stuck in a rut . . .or a cell. Tomorrow the Moon is in Gemini and and you can be the star of a multi-title plotline just right for that restless sign.


	13. 09 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars say you have stress today!

09 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey hero, we know you're feeling stress - your angst-ridden monologue let us all in on the turmoil in your soul - but you've got a plan for handling those team conflicts. But it may not be that easy. Solving other peoples' problems is why you wear the spandex but sometimes your own life is THE crisis that makes multiple earths look lame and tame. Remember, those inner conflicts make for great story arcs and the readers LOVE a good catharsis. Face your concerns when they arise, but don't worry about missing a few - they'll just come back more complex and harder to manager in a miniseries down the road!

Villains:

Oh you villain you, we know you're usually an unconflicted darling of dirty deeds, but now and then even a good, wrong-minded villain has stress. Just like Tony Soprano. We know you'd usually just atomize whatever got your tights in a twist but don't let that endearingly direct style mislead you. When the GPS of life is recalculating for roads that just aren't there, you may have to actually stop and pay attention to where you are. Sometimes it's healthier to face your concerns than to try to punch them out. Remember, unresolved plot points can come back to bite you later in the series' run.


	14. The Heroescope: 10 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars want you to think small!

December 10 Sagittarius

Heroes:  
Hey Hero, the stars know you see things long term and right now you're looking way out in the blue yonder but today's Gemini Full Moon Eclipse is shaking your 7th House of Partners and there may be something going on with your relationship to your teammates or sidekick that you don't expect. Don't wait for Alfred to bring some stranger to the Batcave, or to find out your partner is actually an evil Skrull. Take a good look at the people around you before you commit to that new battle royale. Take a break, step back, and share your thoughts with those you trust.

Villains:

Hey villain, the planets see you looking and they like it (wink wink shimmy shimmy!) but sometimes you need to look away from the big picture and focus a lot closer to hand. You've had your eye on the ball a long time and the stars know you wish that nothing stood between you and world conquest, but sometimes being a megalomaniac just isn't all it's cracked up to be. Today's Gemini Full Moon Eclipse is shaking your 7th House of Partners and if you don't get your eye off that big picture you might trip over some little details. Don't wait until your partners call McGruff the Crime Dog. Let the big decisions wait for another day and share your thoughts with those you trust, or better yet, those you have incriminating photos of. Take a bit of time with them before they take a bite out of crime on you.


	15. The Heroescope: 10 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The stars want you to think small!

December 10 Sagittarius

Heroes:  
Hey Hero, the stars know you see things long term and right now you're looking way out in the blue yonder but today's Gemini Full Moon Eclipse is shaking your 7th House of Partners and there may be something going on with your relationship to your teammates or sidekick that you don't expect. Don't wait for Alfred to bring some stranger to the Batcave, or to find out your partner is actually an evil Skrull. Take a good look at the people around you before you commit to that new battle royale. Take a break, step back, and share your thoughts with those you trust.

Villains:

Hey villain, the planets see you looking and they like it (wink wink shimmy shimmy!) but sometimes you need to look away from the big picture and focus a lot closer to hand. You've had your eye on the ball a long time and the stars know you wish that nothing stood between you and world conquest, but sometimes being a megalomaniac just isn't all it's cracked up to be. Today's Gemini Full Moon Eclipse is shaking your 7th House of Partners and if you don't get your eye off that big picture you might trip over some little details. Don't wait until your partners call McGruff the Crime Dog. Let the big decisions wait for another day and share your thoughts with those you trust, or better yet, those you have incriminating photos of. Take a bit of time with them before they take a bite out of crime on you.


	16. The Heroescope: 11 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spandex destiny!

December 11 Sagittarius

Heroes:  
Hey Hero! The stars know how you face adversity. You put on primary colored spandex and go out and open a can of whup ass on crime! This kind of lifestyle comes with some stress and you have learned to face those stressful team conflicts and interpersonal conflicts with an upbeat attitude and a beatdown on a supervillain, but it can be so easy to forget that you aren't cursed, you're blessed. You can usually web up that negativity but sometimes that performance anxiety gets you even when you know you're on the A team. Remember, you are in control of your destiny and that passionate exchange you've been fearing is more likely to lead to a long run of multiple titles. Trust your inner strength and let your powerful spirit lead you out of that seemingly inescapable trap. You really are that good!

 

Villains:   
Difficult emotional encounters are the only kind of emotional encounter, aren't they villain? And if you let them get to you then you'd curl up like a pillbug in your secret lair and never don your tights again! It's that can-do attitude that lets you overcome adversity and negativity and go out there time and again, knowing that if you keep at it, you'll eventually beat the Superfriends and send their super pets to the pound as you show the world how a real villain executes a scheme of unspeakable evil. It's enough to make the stars shine with pride! But sometimes even a super-stud of sinister stuff has those moments. You know the ones, villain. Like those dreams about that class you flunked because you forgot you were in it and never studied? It's easy to freeze in the headlights but remember, you were the one who went back and firebombed the lab! You control your own destiny and the next passionate exchange may be the one that puts you in charge of everyone ELSE'S destiny too. It's in your stars, villain, and in yourself!


	17. 12 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're due a smooth day, hero. Enjoy it while it lasts, villain!

December 12 Sagittarius

Heroes:

It's been a rough month, huh Hero? You are overdue for a smooth day. The stars here and the stars oblige, to the best of their power (you don't want to see the disclaimer the stars had to sign. It's longer than the Federal budget in type smaller than a pre-Elizabeth Warren credit card contract!). The stars want to help, especially if you have figured out how to be more comfortable with your feelings We know old conflicts can leave scars but don't let those secret wars and cancelled plotlines scare you, hero. It may seem overwhelming but it gets easier as the day wears on. Interactions with others can start to spin off the rails like a satellite headquarters dropping out of orbit but take a breath, pull up your mental big hero tights, and work on that superpower for compromise you've been neglecting and you'll get through the day without winding up in a conspiracy theorist's blog.

 

Villains:

Hey guy guys, it's another one of those touchy-feely days. You know the ones. All about feelings. A villain's feelings always give him (or her, even chick villains can have trouble getting in touch with the inner Cruella) trouble. That's part of why s/he's a villain (leaving aside the money and the hot bods in lycra part of the job). But even a villain deserves a smooth day now and then. Remember, those feelings ARE nothing more than feelings. No need to lock 'em up in an airless vault to asphyxiate for the day. At first confronting those broken relationships can seem like facing the worst kind of psychic hero super-shrink but it gets easier as the day wears on and the drugs you put in their coffee take hold. Interactions can take on a life of their own and that can go your way or the the highway to hell, but with a little compromise, you can get through today looking a heck of a lot more together and successful than Congress does! (despite all appearances, villain, Congress really wasn't infiltrated by your nefarious colleagues. They got that way all on their own! But if you want to take the credit, the stars won't rat you out).


	18. 13 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bonbons of BAAAAD

13 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Time to beware, hero! Today the Moon squares your key planet Jupiter. No problem for a Zen hero who renounces desire but you, hero, need to put the magic power potion down and take a breath. It's time to take off the infinity gems and just say no to the magic words. And you, yeah you, do NOT play kissy face-body-whatever with that alien symbiote! The stars know a little bit of a good thing is great, but a lot is a hot ticket to villainville. Show your super strength of character and put the chocolate coated bonbon of infinite power BACK in that candy box. Leave overindulging to the sidekick - that kind of thing makes a great second feature, we know - but a hero's supposed to be smart. Be a real smarty-tights and stop before it's too late.

 

Villains:

Hey villain, it's your day. The Moon is squaring Jupiter and if you were a hero the stars would be telling you to show restraint, don't overindulge. But you are a VILLAIN and it's time to work that villain mojo and go for it. A little is a good thing and a lot is a bad thing but if you gobble the WHOLE BOX of sorcerous truffles that's a whole lotta bad shakin' down! Too much of a good thing will land you in a pile of trouble and that is just exactly where a villain likes to be so go ahead and go whole hog, you evildoer you. The smart guys stop before it's too late but that's what makes them heroes. It's your day to step on the gas, pull the pin, drink the potion, french kiss that evil alien symbiote and get yourself a a passle 'a hassle. Boogie down BAD!


	19. 14 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mercury and agendas

14 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey Hero, Mercury is moving in your sign and you don't have any patience for the nervous nellies and the nattering nabobs of negativism whinging on. So many zones of influence fall under the zones of Mercury! Teammates, sidekicks, bosses, sweeties, they might be dissatisfied with your agenda today. And you may be tempted to just take off for that solo title of your dreams, but it's not wise to just jump and count on that audience subscribing. It may feeling like going it alone solves your problems but excluding others is not the answer. Take a few deep breaths, count all the members of the X-men who have died and recovered (take breaks for meals if needed, we know it's a lot) and give the team time to come around to your way of thinking. Scoring one liners on villains is not nearly as fun as banter with the team.

Villains:

Oh you villain you. Mercury is moving direct in your sign. Patience is seldom your strong point but today you may want to drop a grenade down the pants of every nay-sayer telling you to straighten up, fly right, and turn over a new leaf. You know how it is. Your alter-ego's boss is a beast, your squeeze is a sleaze, and your mother is STILL asking you when you're going to give her grandchildren. Your cape is no escape as your teammates want the fast score and they don't see that your enthusiasm and brilliance are the key to world domination. Or even just to a profitable sales run of dodgy derivatives. Your ambition may make you want to strike out and dump the hangers-on but it's not wise to leap, whether or not you looked first. Others may not be so quick to follow and in your line of work you can use all the cannon fodder you can find. Take a deep breath, count the unpaid parking tickets stuffed in your sock drawer, and remember that every teammate you keep is one more obstacle to be arrested by the hero of the day before he gets to you.


	20. The Heroescope: 15 December Sagittarius

15 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey Hero, the stars know you and they know that YOU know what you want. At least for the new few issues you know the plotline, don't ya? It's part of the hero job description. You see the problem, you see the evildoers, and you see what needs to be done. But you also need to realize you could be overstepping your limits. In fact, given the preview for next episode, you can pretty much guarantee you're overstepping those limits but that's what makes a great battle, huh? You know the beatdown is coming so stock up on the band aids and iodine but remember, there's limits and then there's final issues. Overextending yourself for real isn't helpful on your quest. All those battles won't get you to your goal any faster. It's smarter to show a little self-control, back away and dodge that punch instead of trying to shake it off. Don't wait for reality to teach you the limit you should have figured out.

Villains:

A villain's life can be really complicated what with juggling the secret identity, the alter ago, and all those identity theft personas. But the goals, those are pretty straight forward, huh Brain? You want to take over the world! Or the global banking system or maybe the local theme park. Yeah, even a villain likes a roller coaster now and then. Whether it global thermonuclear war or the local arcade, though, you are really clear on what you want to do next. But keep an eye out, villain. It can be easy to overstep your limits and bite off more than you can masticate. Keep an eye on your limits and maybe on the boundaries of others. Any good villain pushes others' boundaries, it's part of the job, but there's some boundaries you want to respect. You do NOT want to try to get Madame Hydra under the mistletoe, villain. Overextending yourself sounds great but if it puts you in a full body cast or a cell, that'll put a crimp in your plans. Show a little self-restraint, villain. It's better to wait than flop.


	21. The Heroescope: 16 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mars, it's not just for candy anymore!

16 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey you brainy science heroes, today's heroescope is dedicated to you. Mars' eager aspect faces your key planet, Jupiter and you are one optimistic eager beaver today! We know you want more facts - like you don't always want more facts? - but your eyes may be bigger than your stomach today. Slow it down and give yourself time to digest those yummy yummy facts, hero. Those Thanksgiving Feasts may be tasty but that new diet might be a good idea to reduce the stress of all that data and let you have time to use what you chew. Instead of those big, messy bites, use some nibbles and get the most out of what you have.

Villains:  
Whoa you frisky villains! Eager Mars is french kissing your key planet, Jupiter, and you are just a giddy evildoing thing! Today's a great day for a bit of data theft and you want more facts than usual, you hungry thing. But you can't, or shouldn't, always get what you want. Working those facts into your diabolical schemes shouldn't be rushed, that way so give it a bit of time and look at changing some priorities. We know you love that instant gratification and part of the villain mojo is low impulse control but adding a little anticipation can make all that data and what you do with it so much tastier. Instead of going for that big job now, let the marks enjoy their happy ignorance for a little longer and savor the ripening of your evil schemes at a pace that lets you use what you learn how to do your wrong the right way.


	22. The Heroescope: 17 December Sagittarius.  The future is hazy

17 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey Hero, sometimes it feels like you are in a fog and the stars have abandoned you, doesn't it? You are such a goal oriented good guy but when you lose that GPS route to the future, how do you figure out if you are winning or not? Other than the notches on your bedpost for the villains in jail, but every hero has those and who knows for sure if they're honest? It sucks when the astral Magic 8 Ball says the future is hazy. But that's a message telling you that you have to stop relying on how other people see you. Heroes, the guys who love the bright line of noble and right but it's time to learn to use milestones set by you, that are about you. Don't wait for the sound of the jail door clanging behind some evildoer, or for the team to actually all work together. Set goals for you, and break them down to little tasks, one at a time.

 

Villains:

Hey Villain. We know it's normally easy. This bank robbed. That government corrupted. These banking regulations repealed to let you distribute toxic assets. Normally your goals are so clear but sometimes it can feel like the world is one big toxic asset and you have no idea which bundled mortgage tranches will fail. The stars understand. Sometimes you have to put Big Evil on the back burner and focus on manageable goals. Focus on what really matters and get back to your naughty roots. Set some short term, manageable goals for a change. Spank your inner child, steal a parking place, use your boss's computer to download internet porn (and malware!). Just remember, don't steal the tips from the coffee shop tip jar. Barrista's have long memories and evil needs caffeine to survive.


	23. The Heroescope: 18 December Sagittarius

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gold Lame Dreams!

18 December Sagittarius

Heroes:   
Hey hero, sometimes it feels like life is running over you, huh? And with the Flash around you could be right but a lot of times it's just that feeling that all your teammates have a life and there you are, sitting up on monitor duty and studying up for that degree in advanced biophysics that the local community college decided to make available in night school. But while exams suck, it's not so bad to be studying up for Professor Xavier's Community College for Gifted Impoverished Students in Spandex. You have found inner wisdom, at least until the next time a villain erodes your sense of self-worth, and for the time being you realize that everyone has a different part to sing in the big chorus. Some sing harmony and some sing rap solos and some are asked to just mouth the words because they're tone deaf. Your singing may blow chunks but your tensor calculus rules. It's difficult to acknowledge you won't be a masked astrophysics rock star but you've learned that letting go of the gold lame dreams can make you happier in the long run.

 

Villains:

Life is tough for a villain even when things are going well. All those balls to keep in the air and you never wanted to be the Juggler of Doom. You join a team to try to delegate some of the evil and what happens? All your evil teammates are doing better than you. Some of them even get some now and then! But even as you sit and concoct the next diabolical scheme, you are too cool to let this realization make you feel neurotic. You have learned that each of you has his or her own place in the vast team of life and that your evil is best when it can coexist with others (though the stars will never tell how you put their names on the mailing list of every pyramid scheme in the country). It's difficult to accept limits and acknowledge that you will never be the Grand Imperial High Rule of Earth, but if a dream doesn't pan out, it may make you happier to shoot for a subtler target. Like Speaker of the House . . .


	24. The Heroescope: 19 December Sagittarius -

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> patent villainy!

19 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey Hero, it's another day, another villain, huh? Is the team hard to handle? Sidekick getting out of line? If the work takes more concentration than usual, consider the source of your uneasiness. Maybe you don't appreciate the team dynamics, or maybe you're just bored. There's only so many thugs you can punch before it gets old after all. Your restlessness is heightened by your creative spirit, especially if you don't know how to share your insights with others. Instead of trying to to monologue your brilliant ideas, hold onto them. Think them through and save them for the day that you and your ideas are the secret weapon that saves the day!

Villains:

You're bored. Of course you are. How could a startlingly brilliant villain not be bored when surrounded by inferior but megalomaniacal lesser villains, pushed around by bullies and braggarts, ignored by the pneumatic, air-headed, but highly picturesque latex clad vixens. It's only natural that you feel frustrated, villain. Especially since you can't tell anyone about the brilliant schemes you've been hatching. (If you told, after all, they'd just poach your ideas and violate your patents). Stop risking your royalties, villain. Don't tell. store it in a hacker-proof journal, well hidden, and hold onto those nefarious schemes and wait, secretly gloating, for when those plots are ripe and stinky and ready to throw like rotten fruit, and ruin the day of the many who deserve it.


	25. The Heroescope: 20 December Sagittarius

20 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

Hey Hero. Yes, it's true. Yet another supervillain is out there trying to destroy the world, dissing innocent people, and lying on tax returns. Blah blah blah you've seen it all before and it just does not inspire you to want to jump into the fray yet again. You like the idea of the banter, the one-two set up take downs, the simmering UST in all that teamwork of your work, but it's hard to get excited about the prime plot when the subplots are so much more FUN! It's okay. The stars understand. Don't be too hard on yourself if you aren't able to get a lot done now. Give yourself a break and have a little fun if you can. You'll get a chance to flex those biceps and show off that sixpack a little later in the week so take today and stop and smell the roses, and while you're at it pick up a few and take them to that neglected honey you've been ignoring to punch out some steroidal misfit of a villain.

 

Villains:

Another day with your nose to the grindstone, huh villain? We know you need to fake it to keep the cover of that secret identity. Not to mention those really vital health benefits and maybe it's nice to have a bit of camaraderie that doesn't involve comparing whose gun is bigger now and then. We get it. Even a villain likes to go out for a coffee or maybe a beer with the guys after work. Don't beat yourself up, bad guys and gals. That's what heroes are for. So maybe you don't get a lot done today. Maybe the villainy distracts from the office and the office makes the villainy less fun - it happens. Give yourself an IOU for WMD and have a little fun while you can. You can be a master of disaster later in the week. Take today and go to a movie, have a good time, maybe pay a little attention to that sweet thing that's been mending your costumes and tending your wounds when you get on the wrong side of a bright, latex-clad fist. So take a day or so, take a break, and get a renewed sense of just why you'd even want to rule this world to begin with. It can't just be for the free cable after all!


	26. The Heroescope twofer - 21 December Sagittarius and 22 December Capricorn

21 December Sagittarius

Heroes:

You stand for truth and justice, hero, but sometimes you get a wild hair and the urge to be a tiny bit naughty nibbles at your inhibitions. Give in. Today, others are likely to forgive you that frisky moment of fun. This is the Sun's last day in philosophical Sagittarius and your contemplative soul shines forth like the light of Rudolph's shiny nose in the fog. Let yourself lead that reindeer team into the unknown just a little bit, hero. Your eagerness to risk your tightlaced, leather-not-spandex (no stretch, lots of support!) rep will just show how much you value success with integrity. Can you be responsible, principled, and still get wacky now and again.

 

Villains:

A villain's life is always about mischief but usually your brand is more sensible, more practical, downright quantitative. Not for you that makeup counter train wreck of anarchy! But today you may break form just a little. The other villains will give you a little slack and may just respect the integrity of your naughtiness that little bit more as you are true to yourself. It's the Sun's last day in Sagittarius's philosophical house, villain, and your contemplative nature shines like a black light on a fluorescent paint poster - everyone can see the whole dark lantern of your unvirtuous soul, so let loose. Today you can break form, toss out the checklist and still show you can toe the line and do the time while being a nonconformist.

 

22 December Capricorn

 

Heroes:

Hey hero, the stars see you. You've always relied on the tried and true, truth, justice, and the scientific method to guide you and now, with the sun in your sensible sign, it's so tempting to use the familiar path to righteous victory. Unfortunately, sometimes a situation is just completely bat-doodoo nuts! This is when you need to shut off your GPS of sensible life advice and just go crazy. Give yourself permission to get out there and try the new, the unknown, the, dare we say, offbeat. Go dig in the dusty closet of your psyche, find your imagination, and let loose. You don't need to justify yourself to anyone, just trust in the process. Your intuition will guide you right today.

Villains:

You might try to be sensible villain. The sun is in your rational sign, you've upped the prescription of anti-psychotics, and you have a complicated situation just waiting for you to solve with that big villain brain. Unfortunately, it's not just your hallucinations. The current situation really is crazy and it really can defy logical analysis! The straight and narrow runs two ways and you've always stayed on it, even if you were going the wrong way. Right now you may be tempted to stray, and ths stars are saying . . . go for it! Sometimes you have to get off the beaten path to find the right way. Or the wrong way. It was self-discipline that got you this far, the self-discipline that sent out thousands of badly spelled Nigerian scam emails and hundreds of toxic assets but now it's time to take a breath, close your eyes, and dive into the wilds of uncharted evil, villain! Let your instinct for bad make you glad.


	27. 23 and 24 December, Capricorn!

23 December Capricorn

Heroes:

You want to think the best of everyone, hero, we know, but sometimes you have a sneaky suspicion that things just aren't right. If you could find evidence you'd know but maybe it's not what you think. Or maybe it's mind control, since that happens every third Tuesday. Or maybe not, sometimes it's hard to tell if they're being mind controlled or just have their spandex too tight. But either way those sour-puss sidekicks or teammates or, you know, significant others are not people you feel like you want to share with. But maybe your gut instinct is NOT the best advice column to read. Secrets can be a deep, dark gulf between you and those who you love when they aren't being pissy sour pusses. Shine a light in that deep dark gulf and dissolve that gulf (unless you're a science hero in which case you know you can't dissolve a negative and those guys have the engineering chops to BRIDGE those deep dark gulfs!).

Villains:

Hey villain. You know what villains are like. Backstabbers. Skullduggerers. Scoundrels all. So while you, in an effort to forge an alliance of supervillainous might, are working hard you suspect that others may be striving to undermine your evil with naughtiness of their own. Unfortunately, you work with the best and none of them is leaving a good, easy clue for you to justify your current worries. They're almost as good at keeping secrets as you are! But paradoxically, your greatest strength may work against you today. One of your secrets may be about to turn a relationship inside out. Consider what you fear and what you keep most secret, and then think of how ot shine a light of awareness on your deep, dark depths. Bringing your truth out in the open with friends will work better than bringing 'em out on the witness stand the way you've been doing until now! Try a new way, and let your secrets help you instead of indict you.

 

 

24 December Capricorn

Heroes:

Heroes all know the road map of truth, justice, and goodness. Sometimes it's even the same as the American Way. And today's pragmatic Capricorn New Moon may make you feel as powerful as you look in that anatomically correct body armor, but the roller coaster of your life says "hey hero! Kiss your stomach goodbyyyyyyeeeee!" as you go into free fall. Yes, you may have lost your flight ring and things may seem out of control but trying to slam on the brakes is just not a good idea on the icy patches of life. Don't waste your time regretting that short cut that lured you off the main road. Don't linger while the GPS of your goalposts recalculates. Keep your head up and your eyes open and your positive attitude will be your best guide.

 

Villains:

You're a villain. We know. You leave pie in the sky and those ethereal, insubstantial satisfactions of justice, truth, and all that to the heroes. You, you want the goods. Cash. Power. Immediate physical gratification. A lot of villains are rulers of small, backwards, despotically ruled kingdoms. Or maybe the terror god of a miniature city. Or at least the evil overlord of of a World of Warcraft realm, all of which gives that deliciously villainous sense of power and control (you know, mostly, unless you're doing time or working as a lowly prole in your alter ego or something tacky like that) but today that sense of control is not the rock solid foundation you want to believe. You may have just realized you never had control over your life but if you try to slam the brakes on this mixed metaphor it'll just veer crazily and spin out. Don't waste time over the past or the future, villain. Concentrate on getting the lockdown codes for bank now if you want to steal the keys to happiness future!


	28. the Heroescope: 25 December Capricorn - holiday havoc

Merry Merry!

Heroes:

Heroes are used to superspeed. There's enough speedsters around. But when the holidays roll around it can feel like even the civilians are moving at superspeed! There's just not enough time to flatten the villain du jour, work the extra shift and find still something sweet for the objet d'amour. The traditional holiday ritual, with all those relatives asking what you do with your time and inventing hobbies, it's enough to make you want to go hide in a satellite headquarters where the carolers can't find you. But the season can offer simple and soothing pleasures too. The holiday rituals can warm your heart as you hang up those stockings (lycra stretches to hold half of Santa's haul!) and presents under the tree. You don't need to get caught up in the noisy annual super battle and this year you can let Santa save the retail joys of Christmas on his own. Let the celebrations happen without you, no matter what you think is expected. Have the courage of your convictions and do what makes your heart happy.

Villains:

The holidays are tough on everybody and especially so for you, isn't that true villain? The crunch of holidays makes everything feel rushed and worse still, having to spend time with all the family! There's a reason you're a villain, after all. It's enough to make you want to break and enter at the Fortress of Solitude, kick back and watch Superman's kinky alien porn until the polar winter ends and the sun comes up. But that's really not an option (particularly not since Supes got that really harsh new security system. Curse that flying dog!). But it wasn't all bad. Think of those special dishes that only crossed the table one time a year and those thrilling rides to the hospital afterwards! And we know you still smile, just a little, at the memory of your Aunt Sue finding that python you lost. Though it was a pain to have to get the toilet replaced. Take a moment to remember the good times and you decide if you want to get caught up in the noisy family celebrations or riots, or the petty distractions. Get out the explosives, be courageous, and do what makes your heart happy.


	29. 26 and 27 December Capricorn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Spandex: the money repellant!

26 December Capricorn

Heroes:

Oh Capricorn Hero . . .watch out today! Things will start out smoothly enough but as the day goes along, there'll be those questions. You know the ones. How you disappeared when all the tweets came in, how you disappear after work and are never around weekends. Not to mention how you got those bruises! Of course you hesitate to answer. Who wants to admit they get all dolled up in a bright colored leotard and a mask and go out fighting crime? Let alone explaining the boots . . . It just doesn't feel right to talk about your other life, especially when you're having one of those crises of conscience (yes, hero, we know they're plural). You have good reason to stay mum but that silence can be misinterpreted so easily. You're already in trouble with your boss for ditching his morning meetings and then there was that dinner date where you slid out the bathroom window to foil a bank robber. It was so hard to convince them you weren't looking for a new job or a new date. Keeping secrets is one of the worst things about the hero job (along with the the way that your costume gets wedged where it shouldn't). But it's time to communicate a little. Hiding is not the best best strategy if you want to keep the rest of your life intact.

Villains:

It all starts so well today but look out, Villain. There are questions in your future and who asks the most questions? It's a toss up between cops, insurance adjusters, and your honey bunny the main squeeze. Which to be more scared of . . . eeny meeny miney slap, you messed up and you're in the . . . stinky stuff. But no matter of them is interrogating you, it's enough to make you want to stall and not stick your head out, isn't it? It's hard to defend your villanous position without incriminating yourself. The stars know you have a good reason to stay quiet, but in this case silence will just let them color outside the lines and   
The beginning of your day should go along smoothly enough, but someone may ask you to explain your values later. You could be resistant to talking about your beliefs because you're still developing your position. It doesn't feel right to climb out on a limb in order to defend an opinion that's still unformed. Although you may have a good reason to stay quiet, your silence can be misinterpreted. Hiding is not the best strategy now, for it encourages others to misread your intentions.

 

27 December Capricorn

Heroes:

The lycra life is rewarding in many ways - personal accomplishment, self-actualization, smiles from little girls with rescued kittens and hot babes who just plain need rescuing themselves. On the other hand, there's money. Spandex is usually a money repellant and while you can flex huge biceps you can't generally flex a good bank balance. This may lead you to take risks, hero, but resist. Don't let your bank account panic you. There might be a mistake in your math, or perhaps a little naughtiness from some computer literate villain. Stop, take a breath, and really look at the situation. Get all the facts before you act but don't ignore it either. It doesn't matter if the money problem is big or small, rash action or rash inaction will just make it worse. Put your cowl away, pull off your boots and gloves, and sit down and figure out what's going on, then take calm, sensible action.

Villains:

It's a tough day for heroes and their money. And awwww, isn't that just a shame? If it's a day for heroes to make mistakes then maybe those mistakes are villain candy! Did hero boy throw out a credit card offer? Did hero gal leave her password written on a sticky under her keyboard (you know, with little hearts over the i's of her secure password)? How can a villain resist? Best of all, Spandex SuperPants probably won't even spot it until the bank gives them a call! Big scams, small scams, all of them are good scams. Let the heroes be sensible and get the facts. You grab the chance and get the cash!


	30. The Heroescope: 28 December Capricorn

28 December Capricorn

Heroes:

Hero, it's the season of renewal! The darkest night of the year is past and the days are slowly getting longer as the Sun's light returns. In other words, you just got a new lease on life. The title character died last issue but you've taken over the costume and the title and your writers have plotted two years of stories for you. Better still, you have a new color scheme and all the purple has been replaced on your costume! With a newly reborn book and a new color scheme, there's no goal too high for you. You have to be challenged to shine your brightest - after all, if you weren't challenged how could you have that big climactic battle? But even so, you aren't a sidekick anymore. You're still getting your feel for being the title hero and your judgement may not be the best just yet. Take a moment to look before you leap into action, and make sure you're fighting the right fight.

Villains:

It's the time of renewal, especially for the main title of that pompous jackanapes in the primary colored spandex. He's gotten rid of the purple but he's still got that bilious green, doesn't he? And with the Sun coming back and the light shining bright, it's more garish than ever. It's okay. The world might not understand but the stars do. You're on a mission and as high as that hero's goal may be, your goals are higher. And pricier. After all, quality costs and a villain's got to be able to represent. You know your goals, no robbery too great, no identity too flashy to steal, so go out there, face the challenge and fight the blight of mediocrity that threatens to swamp you and all you'd hold dear if you could just afford it. Take a moment and be sure that the hero's just a cubic zirconia in the rough, then teach those fakes a lesson in real quality!


	31. The Heroescope: 29 December Capricorn

29 December Capricorn

Heroes:

Hey Hero. Sun and Pluto are hooking up in your sign today and that makes you susceptible to intense emotions, even more so than usual. Tiny issues today can seem huge and huge issues . . .well huge issues are always huge and they always get fought in a battle royale so that's the same as usual. But the tiny issues that ought to be tiny might be a different matter today. You are usually goal-oriented. You're a hero after all and that's part of the job description. But you might become obsessed with having your own way and taking no for an answer isn't your usual first choice. The stars know you'd usually just punch your opponents until the figure it out and agree with you but sometimes that's not the best way to resolve a disagreement. Being gentle and persistent might be a little more successful today trying to make your point with force.

Villains:

The Sun and Pluto are hooking up in your sign and you are really getting some - mood swings, that is! You're one big nerve today villain, and it's not like you're the calmest, happiest person even in the best of times! The stars know that's just part of the villain mojo so it makes sense that you'd be a more moody than normal on a day like this. You're likely be become obsessed with getting your way, though how is that different from usual, huh? Unfortunately, being your usual pushy, self might not be the best way to go today. So put the world-destroying weapons away and get out that subtle mind control helmet and try a little gentle persuasion for a change.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Annnd sometimes there's a partial eclipse and the stars go on holiday. See you when the planets realign! At least the two of you reading this . . .


	32. The Heroescope: 19 February Pisces

Did you miss the spandex and the stars? Pine no more! Nor oak nor maple. The Heroescope returns.

Pisces

19 Feb. 2012

　

Heroes:

All your dreams of saving the world are so close that you feel you can reach out and touch them, Hero, but unless you're an Omega level mutant that's not likely. (If you are an Omega level mutant, go read a different horoscope and please don't annihilate me from existence, okay?). For all the ordinary heroes, the stars understand how hard it can be to resist thinking of all that power you have these days. You may be preoccupied spinning webs in your mind and working overtime to analyze illogical scenarios - and what other kind does a superhero have? - but that's not going to be obvious to others. Except, you know, maybe the villains who take advantage of it to foist evil schemes and score apt bon mots during banter but the villains have their own problems. You, hero, need to look at your dreams, and recognize them for the alternate reality one-shots they are. Stop struggling so hard and let life happen and all that complexity will work itself out until the next story arc begins.

　

　

Villains:

Hey Villain, that nefarious scheme feels like the pay off is just in your grasp, doesn't it? You feel like you're standing there, on the stage, getting that puppet of yours into power, or like you're watching that law get signed that makes your toxic assets legal. It's so close you can smell the ripe, heady musk of evil, can't you? But the perfume of perfidy is a thin wisp indeed and it's a lot harder to get the money in the bank and the votes in the box. All those dreams and the fantastical spin off possibilities (Movie options?) are distracting and your mind is spinning like a political hack in a scandal, but thankfully your associates are truly beneath you and their feeble wits are unable to perceive the turmoil in your perversely gifted mind. It is the stuff of rank irony that if you could stop trying to control your fate, your situation might come clear and your path to victory shine, but that's a plotline for a one shot, and you know it. Struggling may mire you deeper in the quick sand of mediocre heroes and daily catfights, but it is your fate. The stars salute you.


	33. the Heroescope: 22 February Pisces

22 February  
Pisces

Heroes:

Look out hero, story arc warning! The New Moon is riling up that imagination of yours and that can be bad when you hang around telepaths or insane inventors with alternate reality machines or, worst of all, comic book writers desperate for plotlines. Look out because today your fantasies can feel especially real. It does make you quite convincing but it also stirs up bad juju if the people around you believe in your hoodoo. You may want to share that yummy fantasy you've had for years, but that doesn't mean you want anyone to mistake it for truth! This is the kind of day when dreaming about killing the publisher of the local scandal rag can get you in real trouble, let alone that daydream about hitting on your teammate. While those fantasies might make for a fun one-shot, you don't want them in your permanent storyline. You'll keep your spandex shiny and your reputation intact if you just be careful and avoid those misunderstandings by a little honesty and clarity. 

 

Villains:

Oh villain, it's your day! You always did love a good con and today is prime time for a little crime! The New Moon will polish your wit and creativity and make you extra convincing. While that might be a problem for a hero, it's a dream for you! If others misunderstand your words, that's THEIR problem after all! Caveat emptor and cash down at signing will make this your lucky day. Your integrity may be called into question but since when was that a problem? A little more creativity will spackle that public persona right up! If you want to avoid misunderstandings, you can clarify your sources and your intentions . . . or not.


	34. The Heroescope:  23 February Pisces

23 February  
Pisces

 

Heroes:

A hero's life is full of secrets, the stars know, but sometimes a hero wants to share. Open up. Tell the loves ones just who that was swinging through the sky on a thread of bug spit, share with the nearest and dearest exactly how you keep that body mass index so cellulite-free despite that desk job. You've tried a few times before but all those hints and subtle clues got misunderstood. There's a reason for that, hero! If you beat around the bush, then all you'll get is a batch of broken shrubbery. If it's really time to share your deepest secret then just do it! Be direct and speak from your heart (unless, you know, you're heart really is full of shrubbery like some swamp heroes one knows. Then it's best to speak from the tubers).

Villains:

Oh you bad boys and girls, the stars know it's a tough life. You've got to hide your brilliance under a bushel or, at least, a mask or else risk a long stay in maximum security. Yet that ego that drives a villain needs its time in the sun. You hint, you insinuate, you drop those subtle clues like a piano on the head but sometimes you just want to take to the rooftops and shout out, “I AM BAD!” If you really want them to hear you, villain, you'll have to make it simple, preferably in single syllable words and short sentences, and not so they think you're practicing a Michael Jackson impersonation in the local talent show. On second thought, being a villain, stick to the sly insinuations. You already know that the only ones who'll pick up on those are super-genius types and anyone that smart is likely to be a villain just like you! Or, at least, a Wall Street Banker, but they'll keep your secrets if you keep theirs!


	35. The Heroescope: 24 February Pisces

24 February  
Pisces

 

Heroes:

Heroes, the stars see you and know about those turning points in your life. You know the ones. The murdered loved ones, the life-threatening attack, the mad scientist experiment that went right – or is that the villains? Regardless, those painful little rites of passage launch you on an exciting new path! But the path of true spandex never runs smooth. Someone always blocks your way. Oh, not the villains. They're more of a raison d'etre! But the boss, the main squeeze who's jealous of your alter ego, the facebook friends who wonder where you got those exciting bruises and rug burns . . .oh. Maybe that wasn't the superheroing. But there's always something that trips you up and sends you staggering for a while, wondering if you're heading in the right direction. Don't get discouraged, hero – obstacles are the universe's way of testing your resolve and we know you crammed to pass that test! Don't quit now, your story arc is just beginning and obstacles aren't a barrier, they're a plot twist.

 

Villains:

You've been a bad boy (or girl), but it's time to grow up. Larval evil is great but it's a phase and it's time to hatch out into your adult form, villain, and start on your path to self-actualization, profit, and world domination. It's no news to you that there are obstacles in your path – little tripwires like law enforcement, firewalls, security guards, and the ever-pesky bits of bad taste known as superheroes. You've been the brightest little cheater in your class but now, as you graduate to the big leagues, you'll find fewer mentors (unless someone finds that shallow grave you dug) and even more stumbling blocks to break your stride. You may question your talent. Or not. The stars say don't get discouraged. Those obstacles aren't a serious block to you, they're a way to week out the competition and send your whiny cry-baby fellow-villains wailing back to the varsity evil bench! Don't quit now, persistence is one of the villainous virtues and stubbornness, and that superpac of yours, will take you far.


	36. The Heroescope: 25 February Pisces

25 February  
Pisces

Heroes:  
Hey Hero, today your guardian angel is not a big invisible bunny! Today, you have a special angel performance from the planet Jupiter and that big Jupiter-juju has you seeing the sunny side of every street you're on, above, or under. But remember, the big guy won't be your angel forever. Don't let that good mojo make you cocky. Take time to consider your options and the consequences of your actions before committing to a path. Remember, like the Mountie says, Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance!

 

Villains: 

It's a bright, shiny day, villain! Embrace it and enjoy that rare tan that'll liven up your jailhouse pallor because the biggest bad of them all, Jupiter, is watching over you today! A heavy planet makes a light heart but don't let it swell your head too much (unless, you know, that's part of your villainous style). It's a beautiful day to shake down the neighborhood, but listen to Jupiter on your shoulder and take a moment before you take that first shot with your mega-laser-desctructo-ray. Hold onto that toxic asset just a little while longer, consider the options and the outcomes before you rig that election. Spontaneity is great in its place (like, say, that nifty opportunity to kidnap the hero's pet hamster or sidekick or whatever . . .) but a little planning can got a long way towards getting you a nice, long story arc or even a backup feature of your very own!


	37. The Heroescope: 26 February Pisces

26 February   
Pisces

Heroes:

Do you believe in magic hero? It believes in you and that’s why you’re walking around glowing sparkly pink and picking up fairy radio on your fillings! That’s right, the stars have afflicted you with MAGIC! It’d be great if magic was that make believe stuff from your childhood, but here in the land of spandex and capes, magic is something that usually blows up in your face and changes your gender or species (though, thankfully, the only people who can see the sparkly pink stuff are already magically gifted, ahem, themselves). At a minimum, it will really mess with your head. You have goals and you’re trying to work towards them? Well, on a magical day, what you do can suddenly go baBING off into the wild blue yonder, bank off a star, bump a planet, and just barely miss the corner pocket of the pool party of your life. Relying on your common sense today will just make you uncommonly irked, but it’s not all disappointment. The wildest things can come unexpectedly true once you let yourself be committed and accept that reality is not playing by the rules today. 

Villains:

Go ahead and laugh, villain! One of the perks of villainy is that you’re already playing fast and loose with the rules and the rules of reality are no exception. You see that alter-ego-shrouded fool walking down the street all sparkly and pink (even Dr. Doom likes doing sparkly pink stuff, so who are the stars to argue?) and you deserve that belly laugh! Too bad those sparkles aren’t visible to run of the mill mortals. And in the meantime, have a good time watching your sparkly nemesis(es). The shadowy world of skulking, lurking, and obscure schemes is your wheelhouse and a day when cause isn’t arguing with effect is good times for you. This is the kind of day when completely insane people can win elections, when Cthulhu will actually help you out, and when sensible, theoretically intelligent people will buy what is clearly a phony negotiable instrument as long as it promises all profit, no risk. Life is GOOD! The rules will come back from detention in a day or so but for today, oh my, you and all the rest of the bad boys and girls out there know YOU believe in magic!


	38. The Heroescope: 27 February Pisces

February 27  
Pisces

Heroes:

Hey Hero. The stars know you have low self-esteem hero (after all, why else overcompensate with those big muscles or, you know, other features?) but it’s a good day for you and your self-image and you’re ready and willing to take that constructive criticism. While normally those little comments from your loved ones or not-so-loved-ones would have you tied up in pages and pages of angst, hurt, self-justification, today you’re good and ready to stand as firm as your biceps. But remember, have a little humility. You may hide your face behind a mask, but don’t hide your sense of self behind those convictions of yours. Doing that is just hiding from the truth! You may think you know what’s going on, but be ready to reconsider your opinions when new data contradicts your beliefs. Adjusting your position isn’t flip flopping; it’s LEARNING!

Villains:

Oh villain! You know how to handle constructive criticism! You shoot the fool telling you what’s what, or at least put them down on your list of people whose email you sell to unscrupulous spammers. But give them a break today and give them a listen. Sometimes a little self-examination is good (no jokes about checking for cancer boys, and girls!). You already know you’re a superior life form, but it never hurts to review your strengths, and reviewing your weaknesses, such as they are, can keep you out of the federal supermax. A villain like you needs a strong sense of self and a lot of confidence, but sometimes your convictions can be too easy to hide behind. Take off the mental mask for a day, reconsider what you thought you knew, and take a strategic adjustment if you have to. Your fellows may call you a flip flopper but you know how to grow with the times. Go on and posture for the rubes, but listen and learn and you’ll be the one with the ongoing story arc when those other goons are just one shot filler.


	39. The Heroescope: 28 February Pisces

28 February  
Pisces

Heroes:

Being a hero usually feels like fate, the stars know. A tragedy befalls a child, a spider bites a student, maybe a teen suddenly finds she can read minds, or that he has blue fur and prehensile toes. Maybe a child trapped in a cave learns a magic word. Fate. But while it’s tempting to go with the flow and let life carry you along, that kind of drifting may not be the best idea today. The stars advise you to make concrete plans and stick to them today. But beware of extremes. Being too rigid can make you inert to opportunity and leave you frustrated! Have an agenda, hero, but write it in pencil (or, you know, on smart phone!) and be ready to change it as circumstances change. Fate may have pushed you around (and no, you don’t get to claim the Dr. Fate exclusion!) and it may seem that the stars are telling you to build a solid foundation, but the best course is the practical middle course – plan but be open to change. It’s not flip flopping if it makes you grow!

Villains:

Being a villain may feel like fate. You’re smarter or stronger than the rest but the hot member-of-the-hot-gender just dumps their drink on your head and hits on the sports celeb du jour. Or maybe you were just walking along, feeling a little grumpy but not really bad to the bone, and someone drops you into a vat of weird chemicals that give you a makeover from hell. Or you go to Harvard and then get that sweet job at Goldman Sachs. The stars don’t want the details. TMI, villain, TMI! But whatever, you’re carried into a life of villainy and you’re smart enough to read the signs. Heroes live in dumps! Heroes have angst and bad dates and bad jobs! Villainy at least lets you wear black if you want, and it’s stylish AND slimming. And villains have a better 401K and dental! Leave the heroing to the guys who want to go to the free clinic, and your pain tolerance is just too low to be good. So you’re a villain. But it’s not all fate. Where’s a villain without a nefarious scheme? Up a creek with nothing to rant, that’s where! Have those plans ready villain, and be willing to put in the time to do the crime. But remember, concrete is for prisons, not plans. Be flexible. Change with the times, and you’ll thrive with your crimes!


	40. The Heroescope: 29 February Pisces

February 29

Pisces

Heroes:

Oh hero! Keep secrets from your loved ones is standard job description but the stars know you're psychic. No, really, you are! Or some of you are at least, reading those minds and bending those forks. But your reason is looking at that spoon and your reason tells you it's bent, even as your intuition tells you “there is no spoon!” And your reason and intuition are just not going to agree today. No matter how many bowls of Hee-r-O's (the ONLY cereal for the spandex enabled) you eat with that spoon (and better hope your power lets you hang upside down with a spoon bent like that!) even so, your intuition will tell you that the Hee-r-O's might be there but the spoon? Nope. There is no spoon! Fortunately, paradox gives great parallax. Widen your viewpoint and stop trying to force those paths to agree, and the world will make a lot more sense (though you might run out of silverware . . .).

Villains:

With great power comes great responsibility. If you're a hero. But a good villain knows a thing or two about the paradox of life! All that power yet you can't get a good job or a good date? Because, let's face it, if the boss wasn't a jerk and the homefires were burning cozy, well, why bother with supercrime? So your reason knows what your intuition has been telling it all along – life isn't fair and this sucks but why let that stop you? The heroes are out there whining about their bent spoons? No problem! You get to steal the rest of the silverware! Take that plasma TV and those nifty diamond earrings while you're at it and who cares about a paradox? All you care about is what you'll get for that pair-a-rocks!


	41. The Heroescope: 01 March Pisces

1 March   
Pisces

 

Heroes:

Hello Hero. It's worrisome when a person can't tell the difference between reality and fantasy, especially in relationships. But let the stars point out that it may be somewhat unorthodox for someone to wear spandex and go out at night, sleep deprived, to work out their psychological traumas. Compartmentalization and hiding half one's life can make “normal” a highly relative term! But even so, there's a difference between a relationship and wishful thinking hero, so for today, at least, put a leash on your overactive imagination and give it a day or two to let things develop without your overheated expectations. The stars suggest instead that you write down your thoughts to reconsider later. Just be sure to encrypt that file or burn the notes, hero. That's one diary you don't need leaked to the press! 

 

Villains:

Hey Villain. Let's face it. You wear brightly colored exotic fabrics (unless you're the subtle kind who wears umpty thousand dollar Zegna suits!) . You lead a double life. Or triple. Or more. That depends on how MANY people you're lying to about your pursuits. Maybe you're just lying to your main squeeze, or maybe you're lying to every chump you sold those assets to! You take compartmentalization to a whole new level, villain, and the stars are impressed. But that imagination of yours might get you into even more trouble than it usually does. Distorting global securities markets? Overtaking governments? That's one thing. Everyone can understand those! But stalking? Taaaacky! And illegal! If you're gonna get caught, better to go down for tax evasion or stealing military satellites. Hitting on neighbor just looks trashy and the jury won't forgive you for bad taste. Give yourself a break and take a day or two. And maybe in the meantime, check to see if that fool of an archenemy of yours was dumb enough to not encrypt that journal you know they keep. You can always use a few bucks and Rupert Murdoch's people aren't the only ones in the market for some tasty reading material!


	42. The Heroescope: 02 March Pisces

March 2

Pisces

Heroes:

Being a hero is a tough job. The pay is lousy and the less said about the health plan the better. But it feels good to pull those people out of burning buildings, or give that supervillain a beat-down. While revealing your secret identity might let you share this with loved ones, it's not worth the risk – instead you join teams of like minded individuals with whom you can flex photogenic gluts and trade spandex-scented memories. But even with your ripped and buff dogooder peers, it can be tough. In general you're satisfied. It's not like you want to walk off the team! But sometimes the tragic billionaire or the reporter with a good day-job just don't get it. Confronting others won't help your tension. Though, to be fair, a good bout of angst and internecine combat always makes for a nice issue! But for the longer story arc, just get along doing the best you can and your friends and teammates will shower you with sympathy and apologies when you take that dangerous and dramatic solo course and prove to them how right you are! 

 

Villains:

The stars hear you laughing, villain! And sometimes the stars even agree that heroes are such whiny crybabies! It's not like you don't know the pain of going it alone! The world doesn't appreciate you, you're rejected for everything from your death rays to your credit default swaps and half the time you must endure with some horrible scar that you can't get fixed by a plastic surgeon without losing your trademark protection! You can't share this with your dates – they tend to walk out on you and rat you out to the authorities, at which point you either have to kill them or . . .pretty much killing them is the only safe course. And everyone knows that teams of villains break up and turn on each other so the support and camaraderie that the heroes usually get is generally just a fake out for you. Self-sufficiency is the rule! The stars hear you! On a day when the heroes are monologuing about no one understanding them, you deserve the belly laugh. And give Dr. Doom or Lex Luthor a quick call – they might be vicious backstabbers but they're great gossips and they're always up for a story of heroic pity parties gone wrong!


	43. The Heroescope: 03 March Pisces

March 3  
Pisces

Heroes:

Look out hero! It's one of those monologue days! And it's coming from all directions today. Your main squeeze is going on about being ignored, your sidekick is insisting it's time for him to wear long pants or for her to stop being called probie, and your teammates! Oh vey, your teammates are unloading and oh, the angst. The puff-chested self-righteousness might leave you a bit irked today, looking for a soft shoulder to cry on, but while that's better than a monologue, it still might not be the best idea. With all the emoting around, your judgment might not be at its best today. Better to back instead, and maybe share that with the journal you keep in securely locked in the Condo of Solitude. Remember,you're mouth will still be in working order in a few days. You can always talk later, but there's no delete key for regrettable revelations. 

 

Villains:

Get that iPhone out villain! You are gonna want to post this to facebook! The heroes are all off monologuing, sharing their existential angst in italic bold speech bubbles, chests thrust out and posturing in in full outrage and oh, this will go VIRAL! Especially with a bit of MST3K goodness. Even the quiet ones are sharing heartfelt revelations with each other, but all that'll take is one abduction or a little word about who snuck off with whose sidekick at the last hero's picnic. This is better than Gossip Vampires' video diaries! Just sit back and let the drama roll.  
\


	44. The Heroescope: 04 March Pisces

4 March   
Pisces

Heroes:

Ah hero. It's one of those days, isn't it? It may feel like someone gave you decaf but it's deeper than that. You've put in so much time on a life split so many ways: job and sweetie and family and, most of all, that secret life you lead when the spandex calls and the capes fly. Except today your cape is dragging and it may seem like the roof-lines might as well be the next galaxy for all that you feel you can reach them. It can be so tempting sometimes, to hang up your booties and mask. To wear normal shoes to a normal job with cloths that don't give you a wedgie. But remember, you're a hero for a reason and it's not just the exhibitionism. You help people. You save cats from trees. You stop nefarious evildoers from doing their nefarious evil schemes. Sometimes you even call in an anonymous tip to the SEC. Everything positive is a little puff of second wind today. Just get blown a little longer and you're day will perk right up and you'll get the support and strokes you need!

 

Villains:

It's not easy being green, is it villain. Or red, or bald or whatever other trademarked physical characteristic makes you stand out in a crowd as being evil. All that negativity can wear you down. You put all that energy into your life's goals, be they crafting a perfect ponzi scheme or stealing the moon (oh, wait, that's that politician running on the “I will live on the MOON!” ticket). Even just a simple, uncomplicated plan for world domination and global infiltration of insidious infamous sugary snacks and bad fashion can become so exhausting after you put in day after day and the rewards are just so small. Sometimes it feels like the Jetliner of your ambition has run out of fuel and is on a glide path that is just not going to end anyplace you want it too. You may be tempted to try to ditch in the closest densely populated, architecturally undistinguished subdivision of life hang in there villain. Small tokens add up. Go shoplifting. Steal candy from children or, better yet, give those sweets to the little dentally compromised rugrats, maybe with a high-fructose, frothy, ultra-caffeinated coffee drink to wash it down. Sell a few credit default swaps and write a blog praising the latest insane politician so that people will think he's a good candidate. Every little bit helps. Hang in there and before you know it, there's a be a run on toxic assets or the pundits will be all-agog about your man! Perhaps those investments in dental clinics staffed with undocumented foreign dental hygienists will suddenly begin to pay off. Resist the urge to sink into the mediocrity of mere citizenry and you will rise to the occasion of badness again. The wheel of fortune turns and before you know it, it'll leave the treadmarks of destiny on every fool who doubts you. You may feel like you're running on fumes today, but just a little longer and your tank will be full once more.


	45. The Heroescope: 05 March Pisces

March 5  
Pisces

 

Heroes:

Hey Hero, the stars see you window shopping! You've got a dollar and it's burning a hole in your pocket and that's tough when those super suits usually don't even HAVE pockets. The superhero lifestyle isn't cheap on a good day – those super booties and unitards don't come cheap! But it's so easy to go on a shopping spree for all those little hero gewgaws. Of course, and with Uranus hanging out in your 2nd House of Money (probably the only second house you'll have with those expenses!) the results are unpredictable. You might trash your credit rating or you might win the lottery. Either way, you'll handle it. Some things are true 'til death do you part but money? Strictly love it and leave it. You might specialize in one night stands with your paycheck, but maybe for once give the poor thing a chance to earn a little interest and stop and think about your money before you wind up being Homeless Man. Remember, spandex and scraggly beards; not a good look.

 

Villains:

Oh villain, the stars know you dream of a Scrooge McDuck day of swimming in money. Best of all, swimming in OTHER peoples' money! And this might or might not be the day for the pool party but you never know. Uranus is in your second House of Money and that makes the stock market a roller coaster. This might be the day you score that bonus for record breaking sales (before they discover the fraudulent paperwork!) or it might be the day you learn that your financial adviser is indicted. Or, for the more hand's on among you, some Homer might leave the armored car double parked and running while he picks up donuts, but then there's the flip side of the coin where someone who wears primary colors and anatomically correct body armor might spoil your day and leave you with a court appointed lawyer and a freeze on your bank accounts. It's all in a day's work, the stars know, but maybe today you should take a minute and think. Your money might be easy come, but maybe for once you don't want it to be so very likely to be easy go!


	46. The Heroescope: 06 March Pisces

6 March  
Pisces

 

Heroes: 

 

Oooh hero! You're in a tough line of work aren't you? Spend the day being meek and working for the dollar, the evening making your loved ones feel special and not-at-all suspicious, and nights packed into spandex, racing around the big city saving people from bad choices, whether their own or other peoples'. But look out. It's just too easy to start feeling you know what's best, and swing into action before action is needed. It's not fun to stop a mugging only to find you've ticked off an undercover cop who spent way too many days on high heels, playing decoy. Or ruined a scene in a cinema verite TV show or broke up a consensual scene or, any number of other bits of presumption gone wrong. It's hard to be humble when your rear looks so fabulous in that metallic thong but it's better to make the effort to butt out than to be a butt-head. Try stepping back, getting the big picture, and letting other people bring their ideas to the table as well as yours. After all, you aren't just the star of a solo title! Take a look around in that team book for a change! Stop counting how many frames you've got and remember that if you want people to count on you, you have to play the supporting roles as well as the guest star spots!

 

Villains: 

Hey you bad boys and girls! It's a day for the heroes to get a little humility and figure out how to share credit, but that's not a problem for you, is it? You took no vows of false modesty! You already know you're Homo superior and the rest of the world is just too blind to see it, but you also know that legal fees have a way of really cutting into the profit margin so it's not hard to remember to step back, think about it, and keep the big picture in mind. While the heroes are out being uppity jerks and doing what they think is best whether they're wanted or not, you already know for a fact that you're the worst and for you, it's the badder the better! Team dynamics? Pfah! A team is just a chance for someone to rat you out. On the other hand, the free villain is the smart villain and nothing says evil genius like a willingness to learn from the mistakes of others. Better to be a guest star, flexible and quick to adapt. Even if you're in politics, villain, a bit of mental agility will take you further than that fashionable consistency that the ideologically pure and common-sensibly bankrupt love so much. Just don't let the hoi polloi catch you learning – nothing the marks hate more than a flip flopper, otherwise known as someone who changes his mind when he encounters new facts! Just remember, Smart beats stubborn three rounds out of four. Paper beats rock, especially when the paper comes in thick bundles of $100 denominations with non-sequential serial numbers!.


	47. The Heroescope: 07 March Pisces

7 March   
Pisces

Heroes:

The stars are talking to you, sidekicks! It's a tough life, following egotists in spandex through the big city, fighting the big crimes. And it's not like the job earns you any respect, is it? At least the title characters generally get to wear long pants (the guys at least. NO ONE wants to discuss those bad bathing suits the chicks wear. For a girl, sometimes the sidekick gig is better. You might get to wear a little more!). Bad enough to run around in your Fruit of the Looms, but you are always being kidnapped, menaced, and lets' face it, no one listens to you. Not even when you're smarter than they are. But sometimes , when the stars are just right, things might be a little different than you think. It might be the same old same old with everyone resisting your efforts, but you might just be getting more backup from the team than you think. Maybe rethink that solo book you were aiming for – you might find you get a lot further if you think your strategy than rushing in to do it all on your own.

 

Villains:

Hey Villain. You believe others are resisting your efforts, and you are absolutely right. Every lock, every firewall, every armed guard and every SEC regulation, all designed to keep you from achieving your goals. But they'd have to be better than you and the stars know how likely that is! Even so, this may not be the best time for a solo career. They're called accomplices, villain, and the stars say you want some! Do they disagree with your brilliant schemes? Take a second to consider that even diamonds get better with polishing. Flexibility can be the difference between failure and success. Listen them, use them, and try not to get them killed. That kind of thing buys a felony murder rap if you get caught. If you keep them alive you have to split the take, but the goodwill of bad people is worth the cost.


	48. The Heroescope: 08 MarchPisces

8 March   
Pisces

Heroes:

It's a Full Moon out, Hero, and you'll be feeling the effects of Virgo. She's engaging in a tug of war with the willful Sun in your, ahem, sensitive sign. You may be getting a lot of demands right now from a friend, or partner, or sidekick or teammate, or perhaps one of those special villains, you know, the ones that like to tie you up even though you both know that YOU know how to undo knots? If the emotional interaction is a little hard, you can always soften your approach, fall back, get a bit of breathing space. Take care of yourself today hero. You don't want compassion fatigue. Get a little rest and you can stay up longer later! 

 

Villains:

Virgo the Virgin and the Sun are having a bit of a tug of war in your sensitive spot, aren't they villain? A real threesome under the Full Moon! It's not that different from normal in some ways – after all, so many people around you are demanding normally. Your squeeze wants to know where you disappear to, your boss wants to know where your monthly reports are, and your nefarious accomplices want to know where their part of the last haul went {someplace nice, safe, and in the Cayman Islands!). You may want to just retreat, hide, tie up a hero and enjoy yourself for a change. It's okay, the stars know. Keep taking care of yourself first, like usual. And maybe, when you feel a little less sensitive your full of vim and vigor again, you'll add a little extra to that envelope you leave for the charitable organization of your choice, be it Congressman, Senator, or just a garden variety bureaucrat. (and remember, Villain, sometimes it can be really FUN to let the Sun and Virgo play with your sensitive spot! Tug away!).


	49. The Heroescope: 09 March Pisces

09 March   
Pisces

Heroes:

Hello, this one's for all the lonely types sitting at home, wondering so many things. Why does my sweetie always stand me up? Or if he or she makes the date, why do they always leave me just as things are getting hot or, worse, run out when scary news happens and I want them close? The stars see you, lonelyhearts. They even see your fear that you and your honey are being stalked by musclebound, attractive but frightening people who wear skimpy clothes and have violent tendencies. Not to mention how your loved one so often hands around with strange billionaires and inappropriately young gymnasts. The stars see all. But you don't. It's nearly impossible to figure out the motives of others, lovelorn (or boss, or family member, or affiliated individual with reasonable concerns). But remember, you only see part of the picture. The next time they joke about spending most of their adult lives in a cave, take them at words and accept that there are deep, dark parts that you don't know about yet. And while the information below the surface (cave, remember?) may be useful, you need to ask if it's worth the time it'll take? Do you want to unwrap that onion and possibly shed a lot of tears, or do you want to just enjoy the moment and live with what you already know? Remember, you have your own life and maybe it's time to spend a while swimming in lake you and let the mystery go.

Villains:

The stars see you, villain, as you sneak out of that psychic's office, feeling ripped off because the answers were vague, though they seemed to fit you so well. The stars will talk to you for free, bad boys and girls! And you are absolutely right to feel that the people around are you unfathomable, that they hide depths which your knowledge has not plumbed (though perhaps there are more plumbable depths villain, and the stars hope you took precautions if you did!). People surround you, villain, and most of them are too blind to realize what an awesome and profound responsibility they hold, namely to reflect upon the center of existence, a.k.a. YOU! While you may pity their dull intellects and emotional blindness, you should be aware that you know only a tiny bit of their thoughts, their lives, their ulterior motives. The stars urge to accept that you really don't WANT to know that much more. Trust the voice of the planets when it tells you that Mr. Fluffykin's hairballs in the shoes, or your brother in-in-law's spats with his “knuckledragger boss” are beneath your notice and should definitely stay that way for the good of all concerned (Comets shudder in their paths at the concept of you, your Mentallo helmet if you knew what your stoner nephew did with your life-size model of Deanna Troy!). It's better for the sake of the world that you continue to pursue your plans of global domination and ignore the depths of the potentially dominated, at least for now.


	50. The Heroescope: 10 March Pisces

March 10

Pisces

Heroes:

Hey Hero, take a moment for the stars. That picnic of yours will still be there. You love the spandex life, we know, but sometimes even a superhero needs a holiday! The rest of the team is busy monologing and posturing and puffing up their chests and know what? They can do all that without an audience! They're annoyed with you sure, and you get it. You really do. The cape is a burden and a responsibility. Not only do you have to avoid tripping over it and keep it clean, but you have to live up to the image and support the team and blah-blah-blah. Even the President goes on vacation and so should you! Let them know you'll be there when they really need you. In fact, odds are that by the time you get back from your break they'll have gotten themselves into some death trap or other and you'll be there just in time to save their hash. You can apologize for taking time off then (leaving aside that if you'd been there you'd be trapped too!) but that's okay. You'll be rested. You'll have had a nice day out the sun, little frisbie, little fun, and you can let them have their angst-o-rama as long as you have your day off. You'll come back tanned, fit, and ready to run.

Villains:

A villain has an important job in this world, puncturing pomposity and preventing inappropriate build up of wealth in lazy hands that didn't work hard enough to earn it and aren't working hard enough to keep it. Look at those politicians! They aren't competent to run things. You're doing the earth a favor taking it away from the losers. But . . . your favorite movie was Death Takes a Holiday and you learned from that movie. And today the villain is taking a holiday and the rest of the world can go hang. The other supervillains? They can be villainous without you. The heroes? They're busy posturing and monologuing! They can do all that without an audience. You've got a date with the local park, maybe throw a frisbie around if you meet somebody nice, and you've got scalped tickets to the local sports franchise game of your choice! The black spandex and body armor will still be there tomorrow. For today you are on 24 hour leave and the world can take a break, cause tomorrow they'll quake when you get back all bright-eyed, bushy-tailed, and ready to spread fear and destruction like the good little bad thing you are!


	51. The Heroescope: 11 March Pisces

11 March

Pisces

Heroes:

Hey hero. You're phoning the miracle hotline but the line's busy! You may be mellow from your day off but a day of monologuing and fights has left your teammates all wound up. You may not be getting through to your higher power but that doesn't mean a little good juju can't come your way. The stars know you are such a smartypants and you see what everyone else is doing wrong, but maybe stop trying to fix things for everyone. There's a middle ground between on-vacation and barnacle. Stand back, let others have a little breathing room, and listen to them. They don't need you to tell them what to think. watch how Aquaman works on a team without a ripple and learn (but make sure to avoid the orange suit, that's just nasty! Today it's better to be a fish in the school, instead of a big fish in a small pond.

Villains:

You're back from your break and raring to go, aren't you villain? But all that energy might be overkill today. Admittedly, you are smarter than the average thug and you are surrounded my nitwits, as evidenced by their arrest records, but even so . . . it's a given that you DO know more than they do, but maybe for today hold off and don't share that with them. You don't want them ratting you out just to get a bit of breathing room after all, so give McGruff the Crime Dog a break and try playing well with others for a change. Sometimes the biggest dog proves it by leaving the smallest footprint. And as an added benefit, the noisier little dogs distract the heroes! And a superior being can always afford a little false modesty for the greater good of bad.


	52. The Heroescope: 12 March Pisces

12 March   
Pisces

Heroes: 

It's tough being a hero. And it's EXPENSIVE! Capes and booties don't just grow on trees (and if they do then there's probably a villain lurking somewhere in the area). The job has lousy benefits and you don't get a 401K with the spandex. But don't try to make too many changes in a rush, hero. You could get excited and have an attack of noughty irrational exuberance like you did in the 2000's! Take a deep breath, walk away from that can't-lose-fur-bearing-trout-ranch, and save your bank account from that sinking feeling. Take your time and do a little looking around and thinking. You live in a big city. The villains won't do much more damage and a eight-armed urban renewal isn't as urgent as getting your funding on good footing. A little planning and consistent effort will keep you in tights if you keep at it!

 

Villains:

Ah villain. The stars see your bank balance and it could be better. It takes money to make money but maybe a bit of your money went kind of funny, honey. While the purchase of several strategic false identities was doubtless a good idea, perhaps you went a bit overboard and should ease off and look into shoring up your real identity before you worry about off-shoring your alternate identities! A bit of time spent on financial planning would be wise right now, but watch out for the urge to get too excited about the prospects out there. The heavens know that all KINDS of people are looking for your advice on how to make the next credit default swap or how to fund a super-pac for the next celebrity villain candidate but remember how General Zod's campaign went over like a lead balloon. This is a good time to walk away from those tempting, exciting ideas, and focus on the down to earth instead. Work on laundering your ill gotten gains and you'll clean up in the long run.


	53. The Heroescope: 13 March Pisces

13 March  
Pisces

Heroes:

Hero, today is an excellent time to transition from guest star to permanent team member! You've been flirting and dropping in for special appearances but you can make this into a regular gig but you have to want it. You have to be ready to commit and you have to work through those little rough patches in the relationship; things like that spat when your sidekick at all the chocolate ice cream or that pass you made at SteelBuns, the Magnificent. Trust the stars on this one, you will still have plenty of drama to work through even if you resolve that little bit of UST. Don't take the easy road, hero. It's tempting to just node yes or no at the right time in their monologue but there's no drama in that. Go the extra mile, let yourself give in to that double-page fist fight and share how you really feel. Your sidekick and teammates will all appreciate it in the long run and meet you on higher ground, even if that just means the roof of the brownstone for a beer bash. Go team!

Villains: 

You bad boys and girls, it's a good day. You can cement some important relationships today, and you won't even need to do a TellTale Heart and brick them into an apartment wall! No, this is about feelings, including the feeling of dread and compliance when you really share the truth about those trysts you saved, or perhaps that internet browser history that would have been better deleted. You need to share the cookies of their fortune with them, and let your teammates know you are not above dropping a name here, an anonymous tip there. If you really share and put yourself on the line you can clear the confusion and let them know where you really stand – on top, with one foot on their necks! Go the extra distance, villain, use that carefully collected blackmail stash, and when you're all counting the cash they'll understand that you were just looking out for their best interests. And they'll probably figure out that you were looking out for them when you turn them in too, and let them enjoy the rehab and education opportunities that are offered by the federal penitentiary system. It's a sacrifice, but you'll soothe your shattered nerves counting the reward and investing their abandoned share of any ill-gotten gains. Ah, the sacrifices a villain makes! But that's just between you, the stars, and that agent in the FBI.


	54. The Heroescope: 14 March Pisces

March 14

Pisces

Heroes:

A hero's life is full of adventure and thrills but sometimes it's those tender moments that really make the heart thrill. And today is a day for those moments. When the pheromones are in the air and the soft sound of another's monologuing is the sweet music of the stars. It doesn't matter if they're listening to you or you to them, either way the love buttons are being pushed and the elevator of passion is going up. And up. And up! Don't try to hide your feelings – as if you could in that tight spandex! You may be worried that things will turn dark and frankly, they always do but those issues will be smoking hot and the make up . . .encounters . ..will be good for months of story arcs. Take your courage in both hands and bring things to a head, hero. You never know how things come out until you try. 

 

Villains:

It's a day for pushing buttons, Villain. Love buttons, that is! It might be your buttons, it might be theirs. Love is blind but you aren't, so look beneath the surface villain. Think about all those times with a hero bound and in your power . . or perhaps the other way around. Sometimes those battles can be sublimation as much as domination, but you'll never know if you don't take a risk and let your feelings rule. Be courageous, be outrageous, be criminally sneaky and sly and take the chances offered to you. If things go bad, you're smart enough to have a contingency plan and if they don't . . then maybe you'll show just how bad-to-the-bone you can be.


	55. The Heroescope: 15 March Pisces

15 March   
Pisces

Heroes:

Oh hero, it's a day for a classic plot device! That's right, this is one of those times for miscommunication. You start off well, in a good mood, commute in is good, got your coffee but the first thing you know, you're hearing that the front page of that scandal rag has your costumed alter ego in what looks like a compromising position with the local supervillain. One thing can lead to another so fast and before you know it, you're defensive and in a fight and that never ends well. Beware, hero. You may feel sure of yourself but sometimes you don't know what you don't know and your hints and attempts at subtlety can leave others not knowing even what DO know you know. If you know what we mean. Y'know? The stars advise you to think, consider, and if you aren't sure, say so. Admitting what you know or don't know can save you and your teammates headaches and split lips and can leave the Bugle free for another exclusive on Wall Street and politics where the REAL confabulation lies!

Villains:

Villainy loves a day like this, you bad boys and girls! Look around you and rejoice. You live a double life, villains, but so do all the naughty types out there. From the lowliest college essay for hire writer to the loftiest bankers and politicians, the world is full of two faced people who lead double lives of public dishonesty and private perfidy. But you, a villain through and through, make no bones about it! You know you were mistreated and you know you're out to get 'em back, and that gives you the advantage today when even the well-meant communication can easily go astray. You know who we're talking about. That's right. Those people who lead double lives because they have to, and who keep hinting because they can't just spit out the truth. You know them, you love them, they are endlessly amusing and exasperating, they're the HEROES! And today is the day to put a bug in the right ear about the wrong thing said at the wrong time. It's the perfect day for that photo-shopped candid , that tweet about a dog on the roof of the car, or that juicy rumor about whose sidekick was really loving being tied up with whose golden lariat. A few kinky shots of who likes to do it with spandex on and the paparazzi will pay for your next upgrade to your hive of scum and villainy. The stars say


	56. The Heroescope: 16 March Pisces

16 March   
Pisces

Heroes: 

It's a day to take one for the team, hero. And this one is for all you billionaire heroes out there, the ones as rich as some presidential candidates because you have a lot of houses. Capricorn's Moon is visiting your 11th house today, the one you keep for Teamwork, and today you're a glue magnate because you're the one holding the rest together even if you have to sacrifice your own needs and point of view to do it. Remember, it's just for one day. Maybe today it's not all about you but tomorrow the universe will right itself and revolve around your problems again, hero! In the meantime, remember, you've got a solo book and you're a big player in at least one team book! That comes at a cost, and today that means house party, so suck it up and be a good host. Your karma will be shiny and your cape will flutter better as a result.

Villains:

Hey Villain. The stars know that when you're glue, it's mainly so you can gum up the works. But today you may find your sticky fingers are doing more than separating fools from their money as Capricorn's Moon visits your 11th House of Teamwork and not just to case the place! You might be bringing others together by submerging your own needs, sacrifice, nobility . . .nahhhh! A villain does the job the right way, by uniting them in opposition! Whether it be uniting those squabbling heroes by attacking their spandex slumber party or uniting your political party by being such a bomb-thrower, you'll be a force of unity today. And if you really do it right, villain, you'll unify your opposition with each other as you unify yourself with their liquid assets!


	57. The Heroescope: 17 March Pisces

17 March 

Pisces

Heroes:

Hey Hero, the stars are on holiday and today is brought to you by the planets and, most especially, the Moon. In fact the Moon is in your 12th House of Endings and it's throwing good luck all over your stuff. It's a time of new beginnings for you, and we know you're all excited about the new title and the new costume but don't forget to mine your old back issues for inspiration. There are hints and loose ends that the writers forgot to tie up, and they're yours to for the taking, unseen but powerful guidelines for your next few days.

 

Villains:

The Moon is in your 12th House of Endings, Villain! Don't let it make off with all the goods. It's time for you to pick a planetary pocket and score some good luck. There are all kinds of exciting new opportunities for you but don't forget those plots in progress. Sometimes an old mine can yield new gold if you know where to look, bad boys and girls. So look back as well as forward and take your subconscious up on the hints it's offering you. They'll be a better guide through the next few days than those robo-polls and market forecasts you've been using up until now.


	58. The Heroescope: 18 March Pisces

March 18 

Pisces

Heroes:

You may feel like you're trying to come visit the stars today, hero! Your imagination has taken flight and your head is in the clouds. Unfortunately, your feet are still stuck down on the ground where they drag the rest of you to work and then off to see the sweetie and the family and the civilians of your world. Worse yet, you're still in two places mentally when your body is physically wearing a cape and running after bad guys! That kind of thing might end with your head and your feet under the ground. Six feet under the ground! The stars advise you to stop trying to do everything all the time. Give yourself permission to have a space cadet day or three in orbit and let the feet and the cape take a holiday until you are ready to come back down to earth to stay.

Villains:

A villain's thoughts are usually not in the workaday world. After all, escaping the humdrum of ho hum is part of the allure of vllainy (along with the stylish black leather and the hot bods of the ogling bait of choice). But today your brain may be breaking a path into unexplored territories of imagination even as the rest of you is stuck earning the monthly rent and comic book money. It's a drag, but there you are, villain, head in the clouds and feet in your car, driving ten miles over the limit down the interstate like you normally do on the way to work. The stars know that a villain has a reputation to uphold and that reputation requires precision, cunning, devious planning, and enough money to win a presidential primary election. And it's hard to know your own mind when it's off wandering in the wild blue yonder like that. Even so, there's a time and a place and this is the time to let your imagination take a space walk and check out the view. When you come back to earth, you'll have to so much more to tell! Kiss the sky, villain, and give it some tongue!


	59. The Heroescope: 19 March Pisces

March 19  
Pisces

Heroes:

Hey Hero, yesterday your head was in the clouds and you were feeling no pain. Today, pain is dropping a rock on your metaphorical toes and those fancy boots of yours are NOT steel toed, however your head is still someplace entirely different, and having a good time. It won’t help to stick that head of yours into the ground (which is, like, a myth anyway so it’s doubly useless!) but you also don’t have to become a funeral director for your good mood. Black would do nothing for your cape and domino mask, so don’t wear it. What you’re really aiming for today is a delicate balance of levity and gravity so break out the space penguins and the shape changer ray, it’s time for one of those funny super-animal issues that let you tell a loopy story with a super subtext that keeps your mood as effervescent as a shaken Pepsi but still prepares you for the challenges ahead.

Villains:

Oh my but the heroes are all in a dopey mood and it’s one of those days for a villain to run around with that practical joke ray you got for your birthday! You don’t need special Shadow powers to cloud men’s minds (and the women are likely to see right through you and kick your butt anyway) when they’re doing such a good job of being silly on their own, but you don’t need to miss out on all the fun either. You can have fun, but definitely take advantage of heroic hooliganism to lay in a little groundwork on your next dastardly deed, villain. Now, while they aren’t paying attention, is the time to get those nasty regulations repealed or to launch that ad campaign smearing the front runner with frivolous puffery! It’s time to suggest that Spiderman has illicit feelings for arthropods, knowing that most of the public will think that you mean cartoon anteaters. Or perhaps suggest that Wonder Woman likes to play with rope way too much for anyone’s peace of mind. Have fun. Use your imagination. Dump toxic assets in the yard of the unsuspecting public! As long as you tell them it’s just a kegger and give ‘em a free beer, they’ll be happy. A bit of lighthearted mischief will help you return refreshed when the new writers launch that serious, grim story arc of theirs.


	60. The Heroescope: 20 March Pisces

20 March   
Pisces

Heroes:

Today is purely filler issue, hero. You've been building a story arc, planning it and you can almost taste it, almost feel the cape on your shoulders and the chin of evil under your knuckles but it's not quite time yet. You should really wait until after . . . oh . . .Thursday. That's right, Thurrrrsday and the New Moon. While it's true that you know what you want to do, your confidence hasn't quite caught up with your plan. Give that inner insecure high schooler a chance to outgrow his gawky stage and at least gain the maturity of a college sophomore. The few days give you another opportunity too. The stars know you want to be a solo hero and throw this party all on your own but with a few days' maturity you should reconsider and come to the wiser decision to share those of yours. You may be the star of a solo book but you're also a member of a team book and don't ever forget that erstwhile sidekick. Telling them your plans is a good idea. Then they know about your cunning plan and if that plan is swiss cheese then you know about the holes and can work out the details. One they know you aren't just suffering from radioactive insect bites or evil alien mind control, then you're on the way to planet yes! If you can convince them, and convince yourself, then you'll have their support and that's a lot better than another one of those mistaken-motive-let's-punch-it-out storylines. Give sense a chance, sometimes it MAKES sense!

Villains:

Caution isn't just for heroes, you bad boys and girls. You've developed a nefarious scheme, you've storyboarded it, you've got it all laid out in one of those time management programs, you are the very model of a modern supervillain and you're a big enough bad beast to sit back, think it through, wait until after Thursday's New Moon. Of course you know what you want. You're a villain! You want money, power, babes, and the best pizza that New York has to offer. What else would a villain want? Well, okay, maybe a bit of revenge too but mostly the power and money and pizza and all that good stuff. And then the revenge. And tiramisu. That too. (Fortunately supervillainy burns calories better than the Stairmaster!). And while supervillainy is sometimes an entrepreneurial owner-operated unlimited liability enterprise, nonetheless you still need to communicate clearly to your contractors, colleagues, minions, lackeys and dogsbodies (by communication the stars do NOT mean those words that got your mouth washed out with soap when you were just a cute little bit of nasty!). We already know that YOU believe in yourself. That's part of the villain mojo. But once you, ahem, persuade others, yes, then they will submit, er, support you and your schemes.


	61. The Heroescope: 21 March Aries

21 March

Aries

And it's time for a new sign!

Heroes:

Oh hero, you are a daydream believer today and it is not a good thing. Your head is not just in the clouds, it's stuck in pink cotton candy fantasies and that is not good if the rest of you is out there in the real world with the rest of the folks who have to live on planet reality. And you're a motormouth today to boot! You don't want to give a simple yes or no answer, you want to tell them how you got here and where you'll go and why but they aren't living in your dreams. It's great if you are Dream or one of those heroes who enchants with stories but not so much for everyone else. No wants to listen to Wolverine, for example, talking about a mani-pedi from a gorgeous ninja (and really, the glitter nail designs do NOT make the claws really pop). You may want to connect but while you're stuck in La-La land it's tough, and the more you try to see through the veil of mystery, otherwise known as your thoughts, the harder it gets. You'll have to watch your words today or you'll end up in one of those alternative issue where everyone has to fight in the panorama of your dreams and do you REALLY want them to know who you want to see that one about the romantic evening, the waterbed and the rubber duck?

Villains:

Your daydreams are following you today, villain, like puppies looking for bacon treats (even villains love puppies. At least until they chew on the latest destruct-o-ray you just finished). But all that barking and whining . . .or whatever other noises you hear from your dreams . . .makes it hard to work in the real world. The people you're talking to can't hear the voices in your head (except for you telepaths but the stars will talk to you via brain waves!). You'll have to be very precise in your communications today bad boys and girls. TELL them to put all unmarked bills in the bag no dye sacks. Or to buy those bundled CDO's, or perhaps just tell them that you did not mean that your opponent is an evil liberal who believes in government (your SuperPac, after all, knows what you really mean!) but be clear. Your honorable intentions can so easily be mistaken and heaven knows what they'll do with your DIShonorable intentions! And no one needs another Congressional inquiry, do we now?


	62. The Heroescope: 22 March Aries

March 22  
Aries

Heroes:

Flip the turn signal on the Batmobile, hero, because you are at a turning point in your year! The New Moon has tripped over your good intentions and is falling in your sign today. It's not an unexpected change of course. You've been preparing for important changes for quite a while but a few false starts and setbacks have led you to think that your goals are not in reach but don't fall for those tricky little dead ends the writers like to throw you! It may take another month or two to see where this story arc is going, but put enough arcs together and you have a circle and this circle is rolling along in the right direction. Better pack up your things because you are moving on with your life. 

Villains:

Hey villain, that trip wire you strung just worked and the New Moon has tripped and fallen into your sign, marking a turning point in your year. It may come as a surprise of course, what with the false starts in recent months. The stars saw that stint in Rikers and noticed that barely-out-of-school court appointed attorney you had! But you've been planning ahead, thinking long term, and those bribes in low places are about to pay off. You got the ball rolling even if you thought it might just be heading for the gutter but the heroes are moving in a new direction and so are you. Pack up your cell, bad boys and girls, you're about to go on a long journey to the next big score!


	63. The Heroescope: 23 March Aries

March 23   
Aries

Heroes:  
Well you're a hero. The stars know that. And pretty much by definition that makes you an adrenaline junky. Whether it's a life-threatening punch out with a super-villain or inventing new elements or (oh you naughty thing!) making moves on a teammate or a sidekick (the thrill of jailbait!) you're a serious fiend for danger. It crystallizes your life and speeds everything up, and yet, there's that other part of your life where you need to work on that story for the scandal rag that employs you and hope that someone rats out that your competitors hack voicemail. OR where you make all the real discoveries but your prima donna prime investigator gets the credit. Or where you have to face that board of directors – though maybe that one goes in the danger category. It's a toss up. Regardless, you're rushing through your life at breakneck speed hunting the thrill and ducking the dull. Good times! But speeding's illegal for a reason. Even if you enjoy the pace, you have to slow down sometime. Throttle back, hero, let your adrenals recover and your reserves recoup. Breathe in deeply, let the team handle the fight for a minute. Let the sidekick find an age appropriate squeeze and wait for the next jailbait. Just relax. You'll feel better once you do!

Villains:   
You villain you! You just gambled a billion of other peoples' money, didn't you? Or punched out of your class against an A list hero with your B list bad, or maybe you're putting the moves on that hot little sidekick who's always flaunting it in those little pants and booties. The jailbait and bruises, money and chances, are all part of the villainous lifestyle and you love it! The stars see you and know you feel most alive when life's moving fast, risks moving faster, and the stakes are life or life sentence if the evil scheme du jour flops. It's the scorpion pepper of adventure that adds heat and savor to your life. But sometimes you should give the existential taste buds a rest, ease it back and color inside the lines just for a bit. The stars know you'll never kick the adrenaline habit. You'll probably be scamming seniors when you're in a rest home yourself! But give the adrenaline a little time to wear off, take a break from the breakneck and you'll find the deadly slow real world isn't as bad as it seems and that hot, fast spandex thrill will seem all the better for it too. Stop, take a breath, do a little yoga with that DVD you bought, and give yourself a break. You'll come back feeling more evil than ever!


	64. The Heroescope: 24 March Aries

24 March  
Aries

Heroes:  
Hey Hero, all kinds of new things are going on today. The Sun and Uranus are partying in your sign today. The Sun is shiny but it's Uranus lighting the place up with that brilliant electric zap (instead of the usual super-villain). That fog you've been floating around in is dissipating as the sparks zap. You may have been wandering off into a dark storyline, hero, but it's time to reset your compass and get back to your true path. Just trust your intuition and chart that course into the new territory of your future.

Villains:  
You've been in a fog for a while, villain. The stars see all those failed attempts to rob banks, overturn regulations, and bring the return of ancient Dark Gods. But the Sun is in your sign and Uranus is throwing cherry bombs of inspiration, blowing away the haze and sparking new schemes in your dastardly little brain. You may have lost your way and been lured into a false path of good intentions, but it's time to send out another round of Nigerian emails and get your bearings back, bad boys and girls. Go out and get nasty!


	65. The Heroescope: 25 March Aries

March 25  
Aries

Heroes:  
Hey Hero. It's a day to simplify your life. Not that it will be hard – it's one of those calm days that make it easy to just go along and get along. Your sidekick is kicking butt, your teammates are all happy and mellow and no one is breaking up, changing costume, or developing new powers today. It's a day to drift along and take what comes though you should take a little care to be sure you aren't mistaken for lazy, and to be sure you don't overlook something important. Wouldn't want a villain taking advantage to sneak past you! But that's just not being purely lazy. You really won't need to try too hard today. Too much poking around could spoil a surprise. It's enough to just pay a little attention and try to simplify your usually complicated existence.

Villains:  
Hello Villain. It's a good day to simplify your life! Blackmail that annoying boss, rat out those awful teammates from the Lousy League of Louts, you know who they are. Fire that campaign organizer or pay off the Congressman. It all comes naturally and all takes a few of those annoying complications out of your life. But it wouldn't do to get lazy, or to let some hero trip over your schemes. Just spend the day taking it easy and cutting out those demanding little complications.


	66. The Heroescope: 26 March Aries

March 26   
Aries

Heroes:  
It is a busy life hero! You’ve been racing through your days, getting used to those new powers, learning to be heroic in your costume without tripping over your cape (or getting rid of the cape if you figure out that it’ll get you killed one day!), learning to deal with the rejection of an ungrateful public as you foil the evil wiles of villains. It’s like being a reformer in Congress! Too busy and no appreciation. And suddenly it’s like summer vacation after finals, all that work winding to a close and nothing new really going on. You may be tempted to throw yourself into heroic busywork but resist that mission to have a public television reality show! Days like this aren’t a sign that you’ve got too much time on your hands, they’re a sign that you’ve had too much to do before. Step back, look at your work from the long view, let that foundation settle and then build on it. Trying to rush ahead too fast will only set you back.

Villains:  
Oh villain, it’s been livelier than spin doctor in a scandal. But all of a sudden it’s like the world is getting smart and honest. Your scams are going quiet, your Congressmen are turning down bribes, even your bankers are following rules! You may feel let down, and be jonesing for adrenalin, but resist the urge to throw yourself into that next major fraud. Leave those banks unrobed, those military experimental weapons unstolen, those governments un-couped (and kick that English tutor out the door!). Instead, step back. Study the impressive panorama of your perversity and consider your roadmap to success. Rushing ahead can only get you lost. The stars know you can plan a cunning plan if you want, so stop, look, listen and scheme!


	67. The Heroescope: 27 March Aries

27 March  
Aries

Heroes:  
It’s an iceberg day, Hero! Whatever you think is going on, don’t take it at face value because reality is a lot bigger than you think. But it’s also not a day for a laser-like focus, even if you’re one of those guys who shoot beams out of your eyes. Get out your eye drops and give yourself a break, hero. Let your thoughts meander and remember that all who wander are not lost! If you cast your net wide you may catch a clue that you would have missed before. 

Villains:  
It’s a big day for a short attention span, villain. You’ve always been a goal oriented sort of bad boy or babe but you may need to think outside the boxes on your flow chart! Some heroes know the evil that lurks in the hearts of men, but what they really like to know is the evil that lurks in an office planning the next crime! Remember what your mother told you and go out and play. Steal some candy from a baby (or give it to a baby if you REALLY want to be evil!), steal somebody’s picnic lunch, have a walk, get some exercise and let your thoughts wander with your feet. If you don’t leave the narrow path, then you never find the unexpected and worse, the unexpected may find you instead and that can lead to one of those federal time shares – the ones with bars on the window and uniformed guards.


	68. The Heroescope: 28 March Aries

28 March 27  
Aries

Heroes:  
Hey Hero. The stars see you and know how you feel. When you graduated from high school you really thought you were done with all that homework and finals and papers due stuff but real life just won’t behave! Here you are, all grown up and muscly and spandex-clad. You expected to feel in control, powerful, on top of the world! Instead, you are huffing in a paper bag with a panic attack, feeling like your time is running out. And it’s not that “life passing before your eyes” time. It’s the boring, panic attack, “am I gonna get it all done by the weekend?” kind of time that’s ticking down on the time bomb of your life. The stars think your plan to get the villain beaten, the sweetie dined, th boss’s work done and your patrol finished is pretty good but even so, it’s a good idea to limit extracurricular social engagements until your priorities are managed. It’ll be tough, but this week you should be a social caterpillar instead of a social butterfly.

Villains:  
Oh villain, the stars are handing you a chill pill here. It makes sense to feel panicky – there’s that court date or deadline or Dr. Doom is waiting for that weapon you promised, take your pick. Whatever it is, your clock is ticking down and you need to get that work DONE! You’re a professional villain, got the union card and all to go with your costume and your criminal record, so you’ve got a plan to get it all done. As long as you avoid the social whirlwind and buckle down, all should be good. Let the other bad boys and girls hit the Hellfire Club for a rave of the depraved, you need to buckle down and belt your life into order. You’ve made a good start. Now it’s time for a good follow through.


	69. The Heroescope: 29 March Aries

29 March  
Aries

Heroes:  
It’s a day for self-exploration, Hero. You start out craving that adrenaline rush that comes with beating the tar out of some spalpeen scheming skullduggery but you may run into more resistance than you expected. That villain you accost may turn out to be tougher than you think, or to have a better lawyer! The punch-up you get into may turn into a tougher fight than you expected but the real fight isn’t the biff-bam-pow in spandex, it’s the internal conflict you’re having with yourself. Pay as much attention to how you feel as to how you make the other guy feel, hero. You can learn a lot about yourself in the process.

Villains:  
Oh Villain, today starts out as a fun fest of fisticuffs with the spandex-clad stalwart du jour, but the fight’s just window dressing. Behind the scenes, you take a dip in lake you, Villain, and that is one nasty, polluted pond! After all, being a villain isn’t something one does to rebel against a supportive, healthy childhood! Your inner child has been crying out but it just gets spanked for the trouble, and today those emotional wounds are throwing a tantrum in your head. The primary colored pugilist pounding your face may be hard to ignore, or perhaps it’s a pesky prosecutor who may be trying to hang you out to dry or a regulator or, really, anyone foiling your intent; but pay attention to how you react, villain, because you can learn a lot about yourself in the process.


	70. The Heroescope: 30 March Aries

30 March  
Aries

Heroes:  
Hey Hero! So there you are, in the middle of a classic double-page super-battle and you realize that maybe, just maybe, what you really wanted today was some nice alone time curled up in your fuzzy slippers instead of your spandex, with a cup of cocoa and a good book. It’s natural to want some alone time since the Moon is crashing on the sofa in your soulful 4th house. You’ve been running around so much that you’re overdue for a bit of quiet time that doesn’t involve sneaking into a villainous hive of scum and villainy but perhaps the stars have been looking out for you and your scattered, Doom to Magneto, pillar to post life has kept you from making a rushed decision. Let things happen on their own for a while, and let yourself get reoriented. There’ll be time enough to make changes when your confidence returns.

Villains:  
The stars would think a villain like you would have a good home security system – you know what to look for! – but no. You’ve got breaking and entering at your 4th soulful House and the Moon is squatting in your digs! The Moon is usually a lovely visitor but today you were just looking for some alone time to catch up with yourself, have a little gossip, find out what you’ve been up to since you’ve been in such a hurry you don’t know if you’re coming, going, or robbing a bank. That’s not all bad. You were thinking of making some changes but you’ve been so busy running campaigns, bribing elected officials, insider trading, so many things just come up to get in the way! The up side is that it’s kept you from making a rushed decision that might not be as wise as it seems. Wouldn’t want to suddenly find you’ve been talking to a nosy member of the independent press after all! For now, don’t try to fix anything, or put the fix in on anything. There’s plenty of time to break a few federal laws once you get your confidence back.


	71. The Heroescope: 31 March Aries

March 31  
Aries

Heroes:  
Oh Hero! It’s a hair trigger day as retrograde Mars burns down the fuse on your temper to leave you even more short tempered and impulsive than usual! And let’s face it, wearing spandex or anatomically correct body armor and beating the tar out of equally impulsive people who just happen to be interested in doing the opposite from what you are trying to achieve. But most of the people you meet during your day aren’t villains. You don’t like blowing up at teammates and sidekicks, let alone the people in your civilian life who you want to see you as a meek mild thing, but today you may find yourself posturing and screaming with exactly those people, even if you don’t really have any problem with those people. Sucks, huh Hero? The stars get it. You need to blow off steam and that’s healthy but it seems to lead to those big sprawling superhero battles that look really good on the page but don’t get your plot any further along. It’ll be hard to keep your temper today, Hero, but make the best of it by letting the people on your side know what’s happening in a caring, controlled manner before you get to that punch-out (the villains, of course, you can just punch!). 

Villains:  
It’s the kind of day that earns a villain his (or her) name. Mars is in retrograde and your temper is bad to the bone, you scamp you! It’s a day to call in sick and avoid annoying people because just about anything could provoke you today and it’s just tacky to use a death ray when a casual put down is called for. Of course, that’s why you’re a villain! But even if they don’t provoke you, it’s going to be hard to hold your temper today. Blowing off steam is healthy unless it gets you arrested but it’s not really helpful in negotiating interpersonal dynamics, and a blow up today can lead to an explosion in your future. If you were a noble, heroic type, you’d talk to your friends and work it out but what’s the fun in that? If you want to avoid trouble, bad type, then stay home. Otherwise, be sure to pack your death ray and have yourself a blast!


	72. The Heroescope: 01 April Aries

April 1  
Aries

Heroes:  
It’s April Fools and your 5th House of Fun and Games is open for business, Hero! Today it’s a Leo Moon dancing on the table and your energy is up but look out. Between your day job, your night job, and that relationship you keep trying to have, there’s so much to get done in a hero’s busy life! You can easily tire out before you meet all those responsibilities, and you may be planning to try some of that nifty stuff that gives the speedsters their flash and dash, but look out. Rushing through your life isn’t the best strategy to get it all done. Oh, you can get all dishes done and the villains pounded but there’s still that draaaama from the emotional parts of your life and you just can’t rush that. Instead, you’re better off pacing yourself. It may feel like super-speed gets everything done, but you’re better off going slow and steady.

Villains:  
You’ve got those scarlet bull wings today, huh Villain? The Leo Moon is being frisky and dancing in your 5th House of Fun and Games and that makes for a lot of lively fun but be careful not to overindulge. You’re still a villain so go on, rob that bank, bribe that official, but maybe hold off on the big, ambitious, world-conquering plans for another day. It may seem like overkill is the only kill worth having but don’t give in to that urge to overcompensate. You’ve got nothing to be ashamed of and that thing with the bigger gun never works anyway. Instead, slow down, enjoy the day but don’t overdo it. You’ve just been through some harsh times and those lingering emotions don’t just go away. Racing around from crime to crime may feel like getting a lot done, but big, steady schemes are better than doing time for a petty crime. Stick to the smaller stuff until you process that draaama, okay?


	73. The Heroescope: 02 April Aries

April 2

Heroes:  
Hey Hero. The stars understand. Some heroes just say the word and things happen. Like that magician chick who talks backwards, or that guy with the mustache who never smiles but knows all those funky spells. But that’s not you, and today you’re full of talk but it’s a lot harder to walk the walk. You’re feeling creative and you’ve already designed four new super-villain foiling super-weapons, and three new costumes (the stars do suggest you ditch the capes before you trip over your own creativity!) but it’s tough to get the same enthusiasm for building those weapons, and forget putting needle to spandex! Give yourself a break, Hero. Put those designs in the to-do file and give yourself a little time. Soon enough your key planet Mars will turn direct and then those plans will get a lot closer to production as you move from planning to doing.

Villains:  
It’s part of the villain schtick to be grandiose and the stars have seen you practicing your pomposity in front of the mirror (the stars really like the karaoke cackling as you practice posturing to get that big, dramatic pose). You pride yourself on being the embodiment of bad, Villain, but maybe today you’re more hot air than cold fear in the hearts of the masses. It’s okay though! Go ahead and talk the talk, bad boys and gruesome girls. Draw up some nefarious schemes and some cunning plans. You don’t have to suit action to word just yet, that can wait until your key planet, Mars, turns direct and you feel a bit less manic and lot more maniacal. Today you can brag, by mid-month you will frag.


	74. The Heroescope: 03 April Aries

April 3  
Aries

 

Heroes:  
It’s a speedster day, Hero. Your power seemed really cool when you were punching out musclemen, bringing storms down on fire-breathing baddies, or reading the minds of bankers who were hedging against their own customers. But today, your thoughts are racing past faster than the Flash and you don’t know how you’ll catch up to them. Take a breath, hero. What you really need isn’t speeding up, it’s slowing down. If today offers you breathing room Hero, take it. A little downtime will let you catch up with yourself and you should take the opportunity now, because the pace is likely to pick up in the next few days. 

Villains:  
Oh Villain, how the time does fly! But today doesn’t have to be that way. You can really use a little breathing time, villain, a chance to catch up with yourself, not to mention letting the attention cool down. A breathing space for you, after all, is a chance for some other naughty ne’er-do-well to catch the limelight and make some defense attorney earn a fee! Your thoughts may be flying by so fast that you are just treading water and aren’t sure you know what you think, but you’re a villain. Use that death ray on the faithless little rotters and shoot one of them down! That’ll teach your thoughts better than to try to get away from you! But the stars can tell you, the real trick is to let those thoughts run away – they’ll come back when they get hungry. Take the time to kick back, catch your breath, and restore yourself and you’ll need that because the pace is going to pick up as the next story arc begins!


	75. The Heroescope: 04 April Aries

April 4  
Aries

Heroes:  
Oh hero. It’s the modern age so why are you still chewing over Golden Age fights? But really, it’s to be expected with Mercury turning retrograde in your sign last month. That’s Mercury the planet, hero, not Mercury the NASA space program. You may have been trying to move forward but that old fashioned thinking and out of date information of yours has you stuck in the past like a mammoth in LaBrea tar. Don’t be Dr. Dinosaur, hero. Stop chewing on those old bones and move on with your plans! Don’t look back, not even with your amazing retro-vision or your special mental retro-powers. Take the glasses off and let your secret identity get some contacts, man, and look forward for a change! It may take a few days to shake off the dust and unearth yourself from that mental archeological dig you’ve been living in but it’s time. Move out of the Jurassic and up to the Holocene, Hero! 

Villains:   
Oh you naughty things, you’ve been bad boys and girls long enough! The stars know, it’s hard to escape the past. With Mercury turning retrograde in your sign last month, it’s just too easy to live with the moldy oldy Golden age past weighing you down but kicking it old school just sets you up for the same old same old and we all know where that leads! To you, villain, all webbed up to some streetlight, or arrested by some over-muscled, squinting man who wears primary color underwear in public. That’s just not cool. At least you could move up to being arrested by a hero in anatomically correct body armor! Shake off the back issues, villain, and move into a new release. It may take you a little while, but you clean the old dishes out of the refrigerator of your life and live in world where none of your sell-by dates are expired!


	76. The Heroescope: 05 April Aries

April 5  
Aries

Heroes:  
Oh Hero, you have them all fooled! You look like such a reckless daredevil as you throw yourself from rooftops and tackle everything from giant robots to jaywalkers (who knows when one of THEM will be armed and dangerous!). You have them all fooled with that happy-go-lucky style and that comic banter but you’re not just throwing caution – and your booty! – to the wind. You’ve eyed that limb you’re climbing out on, estimated its circumference, density, and tensile strength and you already know it’s not luck that keeps you alive. You’ve got a firm plan that separates failure from success and a win from a big, sidewalk mess. That’s a good beginning, Hero. Continue as you began and keep building your strategy on facts and not on smoke, mirrors and pipe dreams, and you won’t have to cloud mens’ minds to outwit evil’s wiles.

Villains:  
Villainy is a high risk profession, isn’t it you naughty things? Whether it’s muscled might defeating your giant robot or rabid regulators ruining your toxic assets, you face challenges every day. Some might thing you were lucky, but the stars know it’s not luck! You have a keen wit and calculating turn of mind. You hope for success but plan for failure and that’s why you don’t have a lawyer on speed dial, unlike so many of your fellow nefarious ne’er-do-wells. You know a good plan stands between you and a Federal vacation, and it’s worked for you so far. Keep ignoring those fantasy one-shot features the writers toss your way, Villain! Stick to the straight and narrow of being crooked. Build your strategy on solid facts and you’ll be getting fitted for a designer suit when your more reckless buddies are getting fitted for orange jump suits!


	77. The Heroescope: 06 April Aries

April 6  
Aries

Heroes:  
A Hero’s life is a balancing act, isn’t it? You need that day job to afford your spandex but then you need the time to swing around and hang with the heroes. And some of you have those pesky sidekicks who always need to be rescued from villainous kidnappers and even if they aren’t kidnapped they want your attention to train them. And then there’s the main squeeze. If you do the job right you do the spandex wrong. Do the spandex right and your work never seems to get done or if it does, then you end up sleeping on the couch because your sweetie doesn’t take back seat to your spandex! You’re always juggling them and sometimes you wish you’d been bitten by a radioactive juggler but alas . . . and today, with the Libra Full Moon falling in your 7th House of Companions, the squeeze and the sidekicks, the team and the boss are all competing for your time and none of them want to be second best, forget third! It’s enough to make a hero want a different secret identity. And a different costume. And maybe live on a different planet. But don’t let frustration drive you away from your life, Hero. Your dreams can still come true if you’re willing to give them room and use a little judiciously edited honesty! 

Villains:  
The stars know, Villains are usually not known for playing well with others, but with the Libra Full Moon in your 7th House of Companions you’re feeling outrageously cuddly, huh villain? But it’s a challenge to balance your needs with those of others, especially when your dispute resolution methods typically include mind control and annihilation. Being who you are, you’re bound to feel sometimes that a friend, or partner, or the guy in front of you in the line at the coffee stand are overly demanding, leaving little room for negotiation. You might come dangerously close to walking away in frustration, or to removing those obstacles in a way that would be described as “runs with scissors” in a kindergartner. Or worse, runs with scissors, trips, and puts them through the chest of the person who peeves you so grievously! But don’t do it, Villain! First of all, your cleaning lady is already about to quit just because of who you are. That kind of mess wouldn’t help. Second, if you let them live, even the guy at the coffee stand, you are likely to find that the frustration is worth it and your sneaking dreams of friends and loved ones might just come true if you show a little patience and restraint.


	78. The Heroescope: 07 April Aries

07 April   
Aries

Heroes:  
Hero, you want to shout out the truth, but it may be wiser to hold your feelings in today. Your key planet, Mars, is anxiously squaring sweet Venus, and that leaves you high and dry, frustrated. It won’t be easy to keep quiet, and even if you manage it now, you may end up letting loose later in the day. The stars understand and the stars listen, but keeping quiet may make your life simpler at the moment. Sometimes, valor isn’t about tight underwear and dashing fistfights. Sometimes, it’s about discretion.

Villains:  
Villains aren’t known for their restraint. Shocking, the stars know, but villains are generally known for acting out, letting people really know what they think, and today you want to do that more than ever, don’t you villain? It’s your planets, bad boys and girls. Mars is anxiously squaring that hot babe, Venus, and as a result it’s tough to get what you want (but if you try sometimes, you get what you need . . .oops. Wait. That’s not Mars and Venus. Totally different Stones orbiting the sun, that). But while your life is usually about being louder than a plaid spandex jumpsuit, villain, today is time to rein it in a little. You may find you can’t and later in the day you’ll erupt but remember, for now your life will be simpler if you can dial it down. Valor may not be your thing, but discretion is worth giving a try.


	79. The Heroescope: 08 April Aries

8 April  
Aries

Heroes:  
Oh Hero, the stars do see you. You aren’t out there risking your life in the good fight, and your butt in that spandex, just for an adrenaline high. Your positive actions are all about fixing the world and, along the way, it’d be nice to have the admiration of the public for whom you do it, but those efforts of yours will fail if you are hiding something. It’s wiser to be honest and not pretend everything’s fine, even if it’s not. Denying the truth won’t take you where you want to go, so take a few deep breaths. Everyone, even the kung fu heroes, need to center themselves sometimes, and then speak from heart (or, if you’re a time lord, the hearts).

Villains:  
Sometimes it’s good to be a villain. A villain doesn’t expect or seek admiration (mostly. There’s always Gordon Gecko but everyone knows better than to listen to him). A villain knows that the public is a pack of fickle two-faced jackals waiting for the blood on Fox News. Mostly at least. There’s always that group of NPR listeners but those folks are too busy donating to beg-a-thons to matter. Seriously, villains expect to be reviled. It’s entertainment and that’s what sells. But even for a villain, there are times that demand a little honesty, when a wily evildoer might want to hide behind that happy-go-lucky mask and hatch another merry nefarious plot but it just doesn’t ring true. Denying the truth won’t lead you to your goal, villain. Instead, take a few deep breaths, center yourself and speak from the heart. Or rather, speak from YOUR heart. It won’t work if you try to take someone elses for this purpose, so put the knife away, okay?


	80. The Heroescope: 09 April Aries

9 April

Heroes:  
It’s a lonely life for a Hero, no matter what sign of the Zodiac. You wear a mask, you work with people who can’t know your secret, perhaps your nearest and dearest don’t know either or, if they do, you fear for them. And yet, you aren’t as alone as you feel. Your teammates, your sidekick, your main squeeze, they may not understand what you need but they will support you (we won’t discuss the boss. You know better than that). Don’t assume they oppose you simply because they aren’t all jumping on the bandwagon – they simply not want to get actively involved, or may not even know how. It’s not always easy to know how to support a spandex-clad specimen like you! But ultimately, you must move forward. If you believe you are on the right path, have the courage of your convictions and sally boldly forth!

Villains:  
Ah Villain, you already know your friends (if you have them), employers (who don’t know about the stolen office supplies), and loved ones (such as they are) don’t understand you. Even your sarcastic and bombastic sidekick is often in the dark. That’s the villain’s life. But ultimately, they’ll support you on your current journey, whether they know it or not. They may want a cut of the profits, or they may simply be charmingly clueless about your true goals but they have been there this long and will be there in future! Don’t assume that they oppose you just because they refuse to actively participate. They may simply fear the potential prison term and hope that their passivity will be interpreted by a jury as innocence. The important one in this, as always, is you! If you believe you’re on the right track, show your confidence and conviction (or have the courage of your lack of convictions if you’re one of those villains seeking to subvert government by running it!) and move ahead no matter what they press, pundits, peers, or psychologists say.


	81. The Heroescope: 10 April Aries

April 10  
Aries

Heroes:  
Hero, it’s a hungry day for you today. That’s because the food you really crave is pie-in-the-sky but there are goals that are called unrealistic for a REASON! You can’t always get what you want, hero, but if you try to narrow your focus you might get what you need. Stop looking for a far-out future pay-off. You aren’t living in the future, you’re living in the here and now, and that’s true even if you happen to have one of those nifty Dr. Doom time travel machines (remember, those always come with bad plotline complications!). The stars advise you to stop trying to just skip over your life and reach the goal without putting in the work. Focus on the present, on goals near at hand, and that change of perspective may suddenly make success a lot more unachievable. That IS realistic. 

Villains:   
The stars know you’re a villain for a reason and there’s no real point to being a villain unless you dream big. Taking over the world, living on the moon, running the World Bank, all sound great but they aren’t going to pay for your spandex today. But you don’t have to run Goldman Sachs to be a success, villain. You can start smaller, closer at hand. You may be a visionary with a big picture but maybe, just maybe, you’ll get further if you crop that picture and focus on goals closer to hand. Don’t look at infiltrating global security databases when you can steal a few identities here and now, and it’s not slacking to let the international monetary flow go unmolested in favor of perhaps reprogramming the local ATM to spit out cash when you want. Let that fellow from Georgia live on the moon. The moon has no pizza delivery, but you have that where YOU live! Leave the time machines to Dr. Doom and Mr. Fantastic, villain. You don’t need to rob the past and future when you have all the crime you can hope for right here in the present! Stop looking to the past or the future, and settle down to that nifty Nigerian scam you’ve got going right in the here and now.


	82. The Heroescope: 11 April Aries

April 11   
Aries

Heroes:  
Hello Aries heroes. Today is a Catwoman (hero? Villain? Depends on the day!) day for you. It’s a day to dig in the litter of your subconscious, hoping to uncover hidden treasures that can fertilize your emotional life. It’ll take that legendary Aries courage to face up to your buried secrets but gird your loins and dig, hero, dig. It may help to share with coworkers, even if they aren’t telepaths, but be careful. Not all in your subconscious is to be treasured and some may be traps, whether through mind control and nefarious interference, or just plain old unpleasantness. You don’t need to share those recurring dreams of showing up for work wearing your cape and mask and nothing else, right? 

Villains:  
The stars say it may be helpful to share plans with your colleagues villain, but we also recognize that your peers are not the most trustworthy people so use some sensible caution! There are all kinds of pitfalls to confiding in villains, as well you know having stolen a few patents and dug a few skulls yourself! So use those sounding boards but proceed carefully, wary and cautious. Your co-workers aren’t your only traps, of course. There’s also that boiling cauldron of evil known as your subconscious. It takes raw courage to face that miasma of malice, but with some careful psychological spelunking and digging, you may disinter emotional treasures amongst the toxic waste. It will take all the courage of an Aries (and stubbornness and a mental backhoe), but if you resist the urge to run from the feared mental tricks, you could be in for an unexpected treat.


	83. The Heroescope: 12 April Aries

April 12   
Aries

Heroes:  
It’s a rough day in the civilian life, Hero. There are lots of authority figures in a hero’s life, ranging from your senior relative of choice to heroes of the past, or of legend. Then there’s your boss. Who takes great glee telling you what you did wrong. You may feel attacked, feel pressured to compromise even when you are sure you’re right, but stand fast. Look at your goals and your motives and be very clear about them in your own mind. If your goals are valid, hold fast your beliefs Hero, and communicate them clearly and precisely to the people around you, including those bosses in your zero-spandex zone. Where blather will irritate those bosses (and probably also your teammates and sidekick!), if you are clear and solid in your goals and motives, you’ll make your case.

Villains:  
You may feel personally attacked today, as authority figures such as bosses, parents, mothers-in-law share with you what you are doing wrong. And chances are that you ARE being attacked! After all, you ARE a villain. But don’t compromise, villain! Compromise is for wafflers, liberals, and sensible people! Hold your beliefs no matter what. If you make the mistake of learning and changing your views, you’ll be accused of flip-flopping. If you try to negotiate you’ll be called weak. You already know others won’t share your opinions. If they shared your views then you’d be rich and in charge! Keep your goals and motives clear, and your weapons loaded, and even if you do irritate your boss/parents/in-laws you’ll be able to stand up to the pressure.


	84. The Heroescope: 13 April Aries

13 April 12, 2012  
Aries

Heroes:  
Do you believe in magic, Hero? You SHOULD! You don’t need to be Dr. Strange for Mars to be in your 6th House of Daily Routine. It may feel like you are in your astral body and unable to touch anything but don’t believe it! Your goals are more attainable than you think and you just need to have faith in our ability to succeed. Life is always a short-sighted endeavor, but your goals are closer than you believe. 

Villains:  
You stole that magic artifact and you’ve been happily using but now it’s not coming through for you. It may feel like your magic is exhausted, villain, but think again! You are ZINGING with that special je ne sais quoi and while Mars in is in your 6th House of Routine, your days are anything BUT routine. Your goals may seem unattainable right now, but magic is about faith, not logic, and you need to keep the faith, and keep your ammo loaded and your false ID’s ready because your goals are closer than you think.


	85. The Heroescope: 14 April Aries

April 14  
Aries

Heroes:  
The stars see your temptation, Hero. Don’t do it! Turn that cloning machine OFF! Put the magic artifact down. Don’t drink the potion. It’s true that you wish there were more hours in the day to accomplish all the things on your to-do list but that’s situation normal, hero. It’s just what happens when you have a job, a sweetie, and you still need to put in those hours with the spandex swingers, putting the kibosh on evil run amuck. You might feel that the pleasures of life, and even some of the boring stuff, is passing you by but the answer is not duplicates. It’s tempting to try to get it done by making duplicates but it’s a lot more reliable to just start early, schedule well, and work methodically. And hero, getting the work done is NOT worth the ludicrous “dupe run amok” plotlines that you KNOW will be the result!

Villains:  
Hey Villain, two heads are better than one, especially when both of them are yours. Or three. Or four. If you were a hero, you might have to worry about your reputation when some of the dupes went crazy and got naughty but that’s one of the perks of villainy. Being a villain means never having to say you’re sorry! Just the reverse. Usually it means saying “mwahahahah!” and then demanding an exorbitant ransom. So get the job, or jobs, done any way that works, bad boys and girls. If you can do it by being organized, okay, that’s boring but it does save a lot of trouble. Or you can just go hog wild and make those clones. As long as you know you can eliminate those clones so you don’t need to split the loot, that is.


	86. The Heroescope: 15 April Aries

April 15  
Aries

Heroes:  
Even a Hero likes to have a little fun. The stars see you, hero, and know how much you want to go out and frolic, in or out of spandex, but today you have stern Saturn opposing that willful Sun that's frisking in your spontaneous sign and it would be a bad idea to ignore your commitments. There are so many things you want to do, hero, but there aren't enough hours in the day and work and fun aren't playing well today. You may be a hero, but you're still just one person and you it's going to hurt less to accept your limits and take care of business now, before you run into the kind of trouble that doesn't wear spandex or build giant robots. 

Villains:  
A villain's got a lot on his plate, what with the day job, taking over the world AND picking up the groceries for mom before she yells at you and throws out all the stuff in your basement lab. It's a tough life and sometimes you just want to let loose and have a little fun, but this might not be the best day for it, villain. There's a willful Sun in your spontaneous sign but Saturn's being a bad-ass. A nice, upstanding villain like you, normally you'd blow off the boss and tell your mom something that'd get your mouth washed out with soap after you get back from partying hearty, but this once, maybe be a dutiful villain and take care of business before it takes care of you.


	87. The Heroescope: 16 April Aries

April 16   
Aries

Heroes:  
Oh Hero! You life a life that would be considered fantastic by anyone's standards. Okay, so the civilian job isn't always ideal but you spend your evenings fighting crime and the superhero business has the added benefit of giving you great gluts and a six pack that earned you a hot squeeze. And yet, even a hero has to dream and your dreams are more colorful than most. But your real life already the stuff of dreams, so it's no surprise that the people in your life may not be able to support your dreams the way you want. This may leave you dreaming alone, and in some cases this can lead to friends and colleagues suggesting anti-psychotics or interventions, but don't give up. With work, you can persuade the people in your life, though it won't be easy. Your patience is thin right now as restless Mercury enters your sign, but self-discipline will pay off in the end. Keep working towards your goals and your sidekick, teammates and loved ones will come around in due time (though even the stars can't speak for that boss of yours . . .).

Villains:  
Today it may feel like the universe is trying to ruin your dreams, Villain, but what else is new? When one dreams of world domination, endless wealth, youth, power, time travel, murder, and electoral fraud, there is no shortage of short-sighted individuals looking to foil your wily plans. But that's why the universe has gifted you with psychic powers, or mind control devices, or mad computer skills to hack those computers and voting machines. It's tough today. Complex villainy like yours takes patience, cunning, and dedication but today, with Mercury the Messenger in your sign, it's difficult to suppress your restlessness. But you are a villain and your steely will transcends the momentary ants in your pants, Villain. Keep working towards your goals and eventually others will understand your motives. Hopefully when it's much too late to stop you. Mwahahahah!


	88. The Heroescope: 17 April Aries

April 17  
Aries

Heroes:  
Break out your jet pack, hero, the future is here! Your life has been slogging along as you did all those necessary, dutiful things, and the stars are giving you a round of applause here, but we all know you were just waiting for the party to start. Well break out the chips and the bean dip, it’s TIME! The pace just picked up and the wormhole sucked up all those boring old chores of yours and it’s time to be happy. Clear your mind, clear the decks, deck the halls and deck the villains, and let the banter roll, it’s time for a good brawl and a good party before you start something new!

Villains:  
Even a villain needs to put in some time on homework and you’ve been doing a great job, you bad boys and girls, but you’ve turned in the term paper and all of a sudden that time warp you used for your science fair project is working like a charm and the future is HERE just as you were running out of patience. No need to hold back, not that you were ever known for self-denial anyway. Go out there, suborn an elected official, rob a bank, steal the secret plans for the newest military systems, and have yourself a good time, you bad person! Waiting for a better time just wastes the party snacks. Instead, go wild and clear out the cobwebs in your mind. New things will be coming up soon enough, today let’s ring out the old and give it, and maybe a hero or two, a good wake.


	89. The Heroescope: 18 April Aries

April 18  
Aries

Heroes:  
It's a sidekick's kind of day and like any sidekick, you're fed up with being a second banana. The stars seeing you twitching, itching to get out there and launch your very own title even if you have really good reasons to wait. But you're tired of being kidnapped, tired of being ordered around, and really REALLY tired of wearing your undies in public! It makes you want to push back as hard as the universe pushed you (AND get some long pants) but the stars advise patience and a softer stance. Change is good, and change is coming soon. You don't need to steal the keys to the Batmobile – soon enough you'll be handed a gold-plated invitation and you just need to be ready to go along for the ride!

Villains:  
It's a thankless, rotten life to be the sidekick to a villain. The breaking and entering isn't bad and it's not even that bad to mix the stinky chemicals or to the let that overweening, arrogant maniac text the latest mind control on your but come on, the sidekick uniform with the obligatory embarrassing panties? That sucks like a black hole and even the light of the stars of the Zodiac have a tough time escaping that gravity. But even so, there are reasons to wait, to be patient, to not seek to launch your own life of crime. For one thing, your mom would ground you. For another, you don't have your drivers' license yet and, to be honest, you don't have the greatest evil genius mad skills either. But you have the get-up-and-go attitude and the will to make things happen! But sidekick, listen. Patience is one of the key skills of villainy and it's one you should develop. Be patient and dial back the aggression, and you may find that the change that has eluded you isn't as elusive as it seemed. Be gentle and patient, and change come to you like a shy woodland creature. Then pin it down, threaten it with grievous bodily harm, and make it take you where you want to go!


	90. The Heroescope: 19 April Aries

April 19   
Aries

Heroes:  
It's been a long month of building and self-discipline, Hero, but the foundations you laid are holding firm and others are building on them! It may be the pleasure of watching a nemesis having a bad day in court, or the sheer adrenaline zing of that new, nifty invention of yours saving lives (maybe your own!) when a villain with a death ray does what villains with death rays do, or perhaps it's simply a promotion from the boss who usually chews you out, or a sweet kiss from the sweetie who, for once, isn't feeling neglected. You're not usually one to rest on your laurels and certainly you have room to grow, ,but take today to enjoy the fruits of your labors, hero. There's time enough for a little you-time before the next story-arc in your life. 

Villains:   
You've been working on those genetically enhanced ultra-chickens, Villain, and your chickens have come home to roost(that's a metaphor, okay? The stars know the difference between an ultra-chicken and a cunning plan!). Life may be nudging you towards the next bit of skullduggery but you can take a break, scramble up some ultra-eggs and enjoy the fruits of your labors for a little bit. You've been working hard, deferring gratification, but now take a little bit and stop deferring, relax, and enjoy. Waiting a day won't mean there won't be anymore toxic assets to sell, fools to defraud, and officials to bribe. You can take a break before your next project, Villain. Go on, take that sight-seeing trip, visit that spa, get that mani-pedi. You earned it.


	91. 20 April Taurus

April 20  
Taurus

Heroes:  
You're reaching the climax of a story-arc, Hero, and you are just itching to finish up that old business you have hanging around like loose end from a prior issue! And no wonder, with Taurus' New Moon showing up tomorrow morning, you'll have an emotional cycle coming to an end and that means a big climax is building up. Like any story-arc, this one has loose ends all over the place waiting to get tied up, and some of those are the people in your life. It's time to tie a few of those up, and that means talking it out. Tell your teammates and sidekicks how you feel and if you get a chance, it wouldn't hurt to engage in a little productive monologuing with the villains in your life. Talking won't make your stress disappear – that's what punching out bad guys is for! - but it should make that double-spread fight scene look really good and set up the next story-line for your book!

Villains:  
You don't need Taurus's New Moon to be obsessive, Villain, that's just part of the normal job description! But you've been so busy clouding men's minds that you're also confusing your fellow bad guys and gals, and that can't end well. It's usually a good idea to share enough so they don't feel an urge to murder you in your sleep or, more likely, turn you in to the cops. With your current emotional cycle coming to an end, and heroes to kill and banks to rob, it's a good time to clear the air a little with the people, aliens, and unrecognizable life forms in your life. Talking won't make your stress disappear – you have your Godzillatron monster robot city destroyer for that! - but it will make your life easier. Just make sure no one records it since admissable evidence is always a bad thing.


	92. The Heroescope: 21 April Taurus

April 21  
Taurus

Heroes:  
It's one of those times, Hero. You know them. You've collected the issues yourself – Bane vs. Batman. The Death of Captain America. Superman and that dumb black costume. Supergirl and infinite earths and new 52 and . . uh. Well, it gets a little old when it happens that often but you get the idea, which is TURNING POINT! Yeah! It's the end of your second feature, the start of a new run, a new team, a new series. The grounded Taurus New Moon is activating your 1st House of Self (and, you know, the Netflix account and the cable TV that goes with the 1st House of Self) and you are exerting a higher level of control over the weeks ahead, all starting with this decision. Part of that decision is your costume, of course, and the stars advise you to avoid plaid. As far s the rest of your path, commit one hundred percent to your goals.

Villains:  
Be sure to eat your Wheaties, Villain, because you need to clean up your 1st House of Self and have it ready! Taurus' New Moon is coming to visit and it will empower you to exert a high level of self-determination, which means its time to jump from second string to headliner bad boy or girl! Say goodbye to the B-listers, you've got a coming out party to join Dr. Doom, Magneto and Lex Luthor on the A list! Today is the first step that sets your path for the next several weeks, and your social calendar will be busy with misdeeds and major felonies for the next few weeks. But remember, life can be like a road trip. Just choosing the course isn't worth much unless you commit to drive it, start to finish.


	93. The Heroescope: 22 April Taurus

April 22   
Taurus

Heroes:  
The stars see you, Hero, and know that you’re a peaceable soul at heart. It’s the universe that puts you in a position of punching the lights out of villains, dropping the dime on corrupt officials, and destroying the reputation of scheming but technically legal bond salesmen (oh, wait, that last is villainous! Whoops). You’re just drifting through life, throwing the occasional punch, trying to be mellow but the world around you isn’t cooperating today and you may find yourself shocked out of your sleepy reverie by what’s happening around you. You’ll try to escape, to retreat, but fate, villains, and poorly planned urban design all conspire to force you into the action. Give it up. Stop trying to elude the fickle finger of fate. Accept your role, don your tights, and punch out lights. You’ll feel so much less stress if you just give up those unrealistic plans of goat ranching in rural America and accept your big blue destiny. And hey, goats are boring! Let the false dreams go and you may find you’re having a lot of fun drubbing the evil out of schemers!

Villains:  
You think you’re sitting pretty, Villain. After all, you’ve just gotten your teeth capped, your lips plumped and your lipo suctioned and you’re heading to the beach with the latest book of motivational self-help advice but the universe is not ready to let you roast at the coast. Put the suntan lotion away and get the spandex out (or the briefcase if you’re one of the subtler, more cunning variety) because your world is not ready to let you retire to a life of ease and indolence. Not when there’s evil and scheming to be done, money and worlds to be won! You may fancy yourself ready for retirement and seeking leisure but the world needs its villains. How else would it know who the good guys are? Go out there and punish the foolish for dumb ideas and the perfidious for imperfect ideas. Be cunning, wily, and colorful. You know you can’t escape your fate, so surrender Dorothy and eat those poppies with relish (and mustard on a dog at Fenway Park, but be sure to steal the ball if it comes your way).


	94. The Heroescope: 23 April Taurus

April 23  
Taurus

Heroes:  
The stars are flashing a warning sign, Hero! Folks in your line of work usually have some impulse control issues or else all those nifty double-spread fight scenes wouldn’t happen, but look out for those impulses today. You’re likely to be jazzed and full of energy today, and your stamina will be great (good night to plan a date, the stars advise) but the downside is short attention span. Repetitive tasks and obstacles are likely to lead to boredom, but don’t give in to the short cuts. Just keep punching those villains or checking that paper trail in the orderly way you know is right. You may feel like a short cut would speed things up, but the only thing it’ll speed up is the trouble you get into!

Villains:  
Heroes are rank amateurs when it comes to impulse control issues, aren’t they Villain? From that first stolen candy bar to that toxic asset or Nigerian scam or giant, kick-ass robot, you’ve been giving in to your urges for years. But today you may want to rein it in a little. It won’t be easy. You’ll be buzzing with evil energy and stamina for stealing but the little things will get to you. Obstacles and those little practical necessities may seem as endlessly dull as a week watching CSPAN but let your impulses get you into more trouble than normal. You’ve got a good cunning plan, so ignore the short cuts and follow your evil scheme to your dastardly dreams.


	95. The Heroescope: 24 April Taurus

April 24  
Taurus

Heroes:  
It’s a day for the nature Heroes out there! All you speedsters slow down and take a page from the swamp things around you – slow and steady is the way today. The world puts a lot of milestones out there for you to reach, hero, but don’t be fooled. You do NOT need to update Masked-Facebook hourly, nor reach any other arbitrary milestone. If you find yourself choosing between your values or your schedule, take the values and remember that it’s easier to overcome inertia if you are passionate about your goals (and how is that news? The stars know that all that is old is new, but gee, no one was ever eager about slogging through boredom!). You won’t be able to neglect the boring tasks, of course, but look at it holistically, so you are working towards a building goal, not checking off isolated villains and chores on a checklist.

Villains:  
Villainous values are front and center, you bad boys and girls. Today you’ll do better by building slowly, working through your list of misdemeanors and felonies as part of an integrated whole, instead of just boxes on a list to check. You already know that it’s easier to reach your nefarious goals if you care about them – after all, that deep love of money, power and revenge is part of why you’re a villain! But really look at your day and remember that your life is about more than just checking off a list. It’s not an assignment list, it’s a treasure hunt and each leg of your hunt should help you build momentum and malice towards your dastardly goals today.


	96. The Heroescope: 25 April Taurus

April 25   
Taurus

Heroes:  
Hey Hero or, more likely, Sidekick, you may want to change your name to Atlas but let that one go – It’s trademarked already. Even without the name you may be feeling like the weight of the world is being dumped on your shoulders. Your hero joins a team, you’re the one filling out the paperwork and getting the access badge. Your boss wants more productivity? You’re the heavy lifter. Your sweetie wants more . . . well. Hold on. That one’s not so bad! But there’s a lot that makes you feel dumped on and you may feel helpless to say no. After all, you’re already busy. If you resist, the negativity would just be one more chore to manage, so you swallow your pride and suck it up. But don’t beat up on yourself too much, sidekicks and just plain kicked. Get going, keep up the pace, and follow through today because YOUR day will come.

Villains:  
It feels like you’re being coerced to take on more work, Villain, because as often as not you ARE! Villainy isn’t a field for the faint of heart or lame of brain. Victory to the brightest and the cops take the hindmost! The downside is that you’re smart. You’re efficient. You’re evil. No, wait, that last isn’t a downside for a villain, But you may end up carrying more work than you want and can you say no? NO! If you’re working for an even eviler evil, then you’re looking at a deathray in the face for that. Even if you’re working for the average guy, you’re still looking at a firing and it sucks to hunt for jobs even if you aren’t evil. You don’t want to be looking for a new job as a mastermind, or even as an enterprising reporter or gung ho broker. Easier to swallow your pride, nurse your grievance and scheme their downfall. And let’s face it, standing on principle is a hero’s game. It’s so much more fun to plan and execute a foul fate upon the feckless. So yes, you’ll have to suck it up, Villain, and you’ll have to get in gear, keep the pace, and deliver. But just smile and remember, you’ll be delivering a well-deserved vengeance when the stars give you the chance. Mwahahahah!


	97. The Heroescope: 26 April Taurus

April 26  
Taurus

Heroes:  
The Hero of the day is Tinkerbell because you are a guiding light for your friends. Seriously, the stars aren't pulling your leg, your steady work style and ability to stay focused despite distractions is a true inspiration to those around you. You're the master of efficiency and no one can duplicate your results, but they're all better heroes for trying. But like Tink, you can't everything alone. You need those children out there clapping for you, and your friends and teammates standing beside you, and stopping to ask for directions when you lose your way. Even so, you might lose your directions. If you get confused, stop and focus on your present, get your bearings, and the future will take care of itself.

Villains:  
You're a guiding light Villain. A black light, and the world is your fluorescent psychedelic poster!. Even with all those distractions, you stay focused and your goal oriented attitude is an inspiration to the wannabe evil masters of evil around you. All that steady, hard work pays off, though maybe you need a metal suit and a green cape for a wardrobe in the end. Or perhaps it's a bespoke suit and an office on Wall Street, but no matter what your super-villain costume, you're a role model for the aspiring masters of the universe. But even a North Star of nefariousness can lose his way now and then. Don't let confusion lead you into mistake, instead just pause, get your bearings in your immediate environment and you'll work out the larger picture as you run roughshod over all the clueless heroes seeking to stop you.


	98. The Heroescope: 27 April Taurus

April 27  
Taurus

Heroes:  
You've been in free-fall for a while Hero, but it finally feels like your feet are back on the ground. The last big story arc is finished and the new one hasn't thrown you for a loop yet, so for a little while it seems like your path is clear and your obstacles are gone, or at least well lit and showing on your GPS of life so you can see them and navigate around them. But give yourself a little bit to pull off at a scenic overview and get big picture feel for your life, Hero. And while you're there, get a cup of that complimentary coffee and a nice walk around and a little time to think about your priorities. You've saved the world a few times, but that's hard work. Take a little time to play, rest, recover from the pounding you got in the last super-villain dust up. Remember, the spandex doesn't come with a health plan, so you need to give yourself permission to relax and recover. 

Villains:   
The stars see you, Villain, and for once there aren't super-max level doors between you and your chosen path! You can keep going the same direction, but the   
planets and stars advise that perhaps instead of that regrettably predictable and hero-infested path, you take the long way around. Think through your priorities. It's true that a villain has to be goal-oriented, but there's more than one way to reach that goal and if you're in it for the long haul, perhaps you need to take a few breaks in the short-run to recover your equilibrium, not to mention healing those hero-induced bruises and perhaps get that next civilian job while you're at it. The stars suggest that if Michael Milken is good enough to teach our youth, there's no reason that a world-threatening and maniacal entrepreneur of evil can't do just as well. Take a little time, have a little fun. After all, it's true that even if you've got got a fine death-ray, you've really got nothing if you don't have your health!


	99. The Heroescope: 28 April Taurus

April 28  
Taurus

Heroes:  
It's a split personality day, Hero! (or Heroes). But the voices in your heard are not singing in harmony today. In particular, your head and your heart are going in at least two different directions. And your gut . . .well. You're having indigestion of options! Your gut is telling you one thing, your desires another, and your head disagrees with them both (which has your teammates giving you nervous looks during that argument, better believe it!). There aren't any perfect solutions. The logical solutions are frustrating and leave you unsatisfied while the warm fuzzy answers have all the reliability of a cloud castle and your head knows it. But don't be too hard on yourself over the disharmony in your decision chakra, Hero. The important thing is to stay open to all your internal voices (because, after all, experience has shown that some of those voices are capable of acting out and then all kinds of bad things happen!). Keep an open mind, consider why you're feeling and thinking what you are, and do your best. That cacophony will resolve on its own and lead you to an answer you can feel good about in the end.

Villains:  
It's the perfect day for Two-Face and his kin. Look at the heroes, like Badger and Thor, they're all arguing with themselves but it's a perfect day for the villain with enough personalities to have a party all on your own. After all, you're USED to arguing with yourself! It's nothing new for your gut to go for high explosives while your mind counsels patience and your heart is off doing who-knows-what with somebody's sidekick. But today you can make the most of it, Villains. You are used to your mind and your gut playing rock-paper-scissors and you are an efficient decision making machine because ultimately your gut wants the same world domination as your mind and the only argument is how much destruction to cause along the way. C4 or toxic assets, death ray or bribes, take your pick, they're all tasty for an omnivorous villain like you! Bon appetite!


	100. The Heroescope: 29 April Taurus

April 29  
Taurus

Heroes:  
Others won't understand you today but, really, when do they ever? It's not like your friends and family can really identify with being bitten by radioactive arthropods or learning magic words from a scary old wizard in a cave and just FORGET identifying with being blown up and reincarnated as a walking potted plant! But even the simpler feelings that you know you share – like hunger, affection, horniness – are hard to put into words. It's okay. Let your unconscious do the talking at its own pace. Patience and persistence will let your words find your voice so you can start that discussion you need so much.

Villains:  
Of course others don't understand you. If they understood the ineffable ennui and the brilliance they'd all be villains too and that just wouldn't be right. So you don't expect the people around you to understand anything except, perhaps, your legal defense in course. Even so, sometimes a villain needs to reach out and connect without deserving a charge of grievous bodily harm. It's okay. Patience and persistence will bring about the best outcome. And if it doesn't, you can always trust mind control and threats to get your point across!


	101. The Heroescope: 30 April Taurus

April 30  
Taurus

Heroes:  
You have always been a determined (read pig-headed) person, Hero, and it’s served you well. It’s not easy to run around in tight spandex and a cape after all! It takes a strong will and a strong streak of exhibitionism. But those character traits can also put you in conflict with more than just villains. You may find yourself fighting and resisting the plans of teammates, sidekicks, title players, sweeties, bosses, cabbies, pretty much everyone you meet. There’s a fine line between determination and pig headedness, after all, and today you may be stepping a little far over that line. Even for a hero, it’s not the hero against the world, only against the villains. If you run into resistance from teammates today, or from non-combatants, then it may be that reality is calling your clue phone. Don’t let the machine pick it up! Answer that call, learn a little flexibility, and feel free to take out the resulting stress on the nearest bad guy.

Villains:  
A Villain’s life is all about enmity. It really is you against the world, in oh, so many ways, isn’t it villain? By definition, you must be a determined and dedicated person, being, or other sentient entity, but sometimes that determination may be seen as pig headedness, stubbornness, even obsession! That’s all right. You know how to cope. Coping methods range from computer viruses to high explosives but it’s all good. Of course, sometimes it would be more profitable, or even less prison-worthy, to seek to cooperate and when that happens you may find it difficult to negotiate differences of opinion. If reality is giving you a hint the size of a two-by-four upside the head, then it’s worth adding some flexibility to your approach, villain. At least until you come up with a properly devastating retaliatory method!


	102. The Heroescope: 01 May Taurus

May 1   
Taurus

Heroes:   
Hero, do you believe in magic, and not just in a young girl's heart!? Because today you ARE the magic man, or woman. Heart might go for men but the stars are not biased. Choose your wardrobe carefully to coordinate with sparkles heroes, because others will notice how special you are today. If things have been going your way, then you know the magic is on your side. If not, then don't argue with Drs. Strange and Fate and, heave knows, Zatanna! Let the magic in your life guide you to a new path if you're restless, or add spark to that sparkle if your current life meets your needs. The magic can make what works stronger, or can kick you out of a rut if it what you have is flatter than week old soda. But be careful, and be sure of what you want before you pull something out of the hat that you can't put back.

Villains:   
You got that old black magic, Villain! Unless, like Dr. Doom, your magic has hot pink sparkles in which case it's My Little Pony time for you. But don't let those pink nightmares get to you. The fact is that even for a villain, it's the time of the season when the love runs high. Unless your loves is rotting on the vine, in which case burn it like a zombie because today the stars advising you to look at the love in your life and, if it's too little, consider a change. But be careful villain, because some games don't have a do-over and the game of love is one! Be sure of what you want and then make your magnificently maleficent move.


	103. The Heroescope: 02 May Taurus

May 2   
Taurus

Heroes:  
The stars see you Hero! And the stars and planets know that today your superest super-power is that megawatt smile of yours. But be careful, Hero. Your ultra-charm can sweep others off their feet so much that makes you over-confident. Don't let the dark side lure you into going further than you should with others. It can be easy to take others for granted when it's so easy to win their approval, but you are a Hero can can resist the allure of your own glamor. Exert your heroic self-control to respect the limits of those around you and recognize the constraints on them, and on yourself. Fortunately, that kind of consideration is part of what makes you a hero to start with!

Villains:  
Tom Sawyer had a villainous streak to him and you know it well because you've got the same streak today! You know yourself pretty well, Villain, and today you know you'd LOVE to have someone else pitch in and do the boring work in your civilian life, and have someone else listen to your sweetie drone on about how boring his or her boss, is, and the stars certainly know you want someone else to step in and get punched out by that clod in spandex who calls himself a hero! And today, your charm is dialed up to eleven and there's a very good chance that the unworthy around you will actually DO all that for you, just to get one of those shiny smiles you're throwing around. If you were a hero, your conscience would make you respect their boundaries and not ask them for too much but where's the fun in that? If they aren't smart enough to say no, that's their problem, not yours!


	104. The Heroescope: 03 May Taurus

May 3   
Taurus

Heroes:  
Be wary today, Hero. The stars say that a big double-spread multi-team combat scene lies in your future! While those might look great on the page, the resulting bruises mess with your love life and make your boss whine about insurance rates. But when the inevitable happens and your muscle men puff up their chests at each other, go ahead and try to be a peacemaker. It's a good role for you and it's a great chance for some expository dialogue! Go out there and express all the angst and anger, but do it creatively and foreshadow a good reconciliation scene for next issue.

Villains:  
Today, Villain, it can be easy to get dragged into a disagreement that doesn't really concern you. You should probably take a deep breath and at least try to be a peacemaker for once, since that kind of fight can lead to all kind of unpleasant time spent at urgent care, but if you can't stop it, remember, no need to feel fear either. After all, your weapons and powers are some of the best around! If the fools are stubborn and unwise enough to drag you into a spat, then they deserve to be annihilated! Don't let it stop you that you'd actually be doing the world a favor by eliminating anyone that dumb! The instant karma of not having to put up with them anymore is worth the anguish of doing a good deed.


	105. The Heroescope: 04 May Taurus

May 4  
Taurus

Heroes:   
The Moon is visiting your 6 House of Daily Routine, Hero. The stars would bet hard cash you didn't know you HAD a house of daily routine other than the one you call your plainclothes job, but you do and today it's signaling that things are going to be a little more normal than they have been for a while. It's okay. No need to check for mind control, alternate universes, or practical jokes. It really IS your life and it really is boring and ordinary for once, and that's great. You gain so much time just not having to rescue kittens from trees and stop world-crushing catastrophes on your coffee break, but do try not to spend all that time day dreaming about the possibilities. After all, your life will return to its abnormal normal soon enough, so play it by ear for now. 

Villains:   
The Moon is visiting your 4th House of Daily Routine, Villain. For those who are currently enjoying the hospitality of prison, that means more of the same old routine but today is for the smart villains among you, who are free of orange super-max jumpsuits yet trapped in the prison of the dull ordinary life needed to fund you nefarious lifestyle. It's agony to endure the boredom, villains, but hold on to that bit of normalcy and use the tedium to spur you to greater heights of heinous harm. The one thing you know about your life is that it's unpredictable, so take the tedium for now, and concentrate on building up your reserves while you can.


	106. The Heroescope 05 May Taurus

May 5  
Taurus

Heroes:  
Hey Hero. You've been spending time with the planets, haven't you? Especially the planets with more hours in their day than Earth because that's the best explanation for how much you scheduled for yourself today! While the time traveling heroes might be able to cram 30 hours of work into a 24 hour today, the rest of you are running out of time and juggling whether to annoy the civilian boss, the spandex-resplendent team leader, or face another night on the couch when your sweetie gets ticked. You may wish you could avoid disappointing anyone and with a Scorpio Full Moon in your 7th House of Others (you have more houses than John McCain!), you're tempted to just ignore it and hope that the trouble goes away and you can get all everything done, but denial isn't really a superpower, hero. You'll be happier in the long run if you take a few minutes and actually talk to the people around you and let them know what's going on in a sensible way, without getting defensive.

Villains:  
You've got big ideas, and big plans, Villains, but you do not have a big amount of time. Or rather, your stuff to time ratio is into the negative numbers and that little strumpet Hermione has run off with your time turner again, so you're going to have to face that you've got more work than you have time. Even villains prefer not to rock the boat so you may wish you could put your head in the sand, but since that's an old wive's tale you'd only end up paying royalties to old wives for their fiction. Much better to find a way to BLAME the old wives! With Scorpio's Full Moon in your 7th House of Others, you now have a houseful of moons and old wives and you should be able to blame one of them! If you were a normal person, you'd communicate, tell the boss, the honey, the villain's poker night buddies, that you messed up but that's so boring. Much better to fake your death, disappear for a while and come back in a new costume with better weapons and terrorize them until they don't remember you promised them you'd get things done!


	107. The Heroescope: 06 May Taurus

May 6   
Taurus

Heroes:

Oh, Hero, passion pounces today! The passionate Scorpio Moon is in your 7th House of Partners and that kind of heat can really be a pressure cooker today. Dates, bosses, sidekicks and teammates, all the relationships in your life can feel like lions taking bites out of you today. It's enough to make you want to pull into a batcave and hide! But your emotional detachment might look like disinterest to the people around you instead of the self-defense it is. Others may start to question your motives if you just clam up. Better to stay present, endure the anxiety, and keep those lines of communication open, Hero. Soon enough things will settle and your clarity will return, and then those lions will turn into pussycats (though the Catwoman . . .she stays a lion!).

Villains:  
Scorpio is really a villainous Zodiac sign, isn't it Villain? And today that passionate bad boy is in your 7th House of Partners and ramping up the tension with those partners of ours. UST? RST? Who cares, it's all stress and it makes you want to get out that death ray or, at a minimum, turn them in to take the fall for your crimes. Unfortunately, if you threaten the people closest to you they make take it as a hostile gesture rather than the request for a little space so you can catch your breath and get your emotions under control So few people appreciate that grievous bodily harm really is not about them! But in the long run, you'll find it easier to rein those urges in, use your indoor voice, and manage your emotions. Easier, though not nearly as much fun! So consider the long term vs. the short term and think about whether you want to pull that trigger or defer your gratification, Villain. But when you get right down to it, it's alllll good!


	108. The Heroescope: 07 May Taurus

May 7   
Taurus

Heroes:  
A Hero's life is high-flying and larger than life but sometimes that need to be better, to be more, can work against you, Hero. Take a good look at your goals today and be honest with yourself. If you're shooting for the moon, perhaps you need to set your sights on low earth orbit instead your idealism may not let you settle for the possible, and that just sets you up to to fail. That's a shame, too, because you achieve a lot in the attempt and it can be hard to recognize your real and realistic successes in the face of those flashy flame-outs. If you fall short, Hero, don't try to blame it on anyone else. Remember, your execution is usually fine and you have very real achievements. Don't let the shadow of overreaching blind you to them. 

Villains:  
You aim high, Villain, and you achieve high too, but it can be easy to forget how successful you are when you overreach and aim too high. You are divine ruler of a country? Bah, it's not world domination! You seek to start your own religion and lure in millions of unwitting and totally willing fools? Still, you want that holy city all your own! Your talent and ambition has brought you to the heights of villainy and made your name one that heroes fear (mostly, you know how it is) but ambition, like so much else, has a dark side that won't be denied. So go on, villain, aim high! If you seek to live on the moon, you may end up living in the White House, and that's a lot like living on another planet, isn't it? Keep striving, villain, but remember to give yourself a break if you fall short. Though do try to not give yourself a break in the bones. There's a difference between falling short and falling hard!


	109. The Heroscope: 08 May Taurus

May 8   
Taurus

Heroes:  
Hey Hero, it's time to switch to decaf! You've got problems to work on but there's so much energy buzzing in your brain that you might as well change your name to the Mighty Squirrel, Master of The Short Attention Span! You really need to focus on the little things like rampaging super-villains running amok in the shopping district, or those masters of malice on Wall Street who are concocting the next toxic asset to dump in the water table of global finance. Industrious Mars in logical Virgo offers you solutions but your jittery over-caffeinated mind is making it hard to contain your energy and direct it where it needs to go. Instead, you're distracted by every shiny thing that catches your eye (and if your teammate catches you eying the shiny thing in that new costume, you may have a BLACK roving eye!). It's time to take a breath, don't do the Dew, go for the chamomile instead, and slow your racing mind down to a pace you can sustain.

Villains:  
It feels like somebody filled your water cooler with Aqua-Joe Villain, and the stars see you twitching and itching to get get out there and commit a new felony! Being the brilliant, powerful, insightful yet ignored person you are (and isn't that every villain's story?) it's hard to deal with the feckless masses on a good day, let along a day when you've got ants in your pants. It'd be easier if there really were an arthropod-themes to blame and to blast, but today's short attention span is home grown, locovore. The stars and planets are trying to help – Industrious Mars is in Logical Virgo and they've got “Villainy for Dummies” recommended on your Amazon list, but your lack of focus has you channel surfing the shopping network instead, running up bills on stolen credit cards. You need to calm down, dial the stimulation back just a little, and meet the challenge of containing your jittery self and applying that energy to your real goals instead of squandering it on petty crime. Countries don't dominate themselves and SOMEBODY has to get out there and subvert the institutions of the civilized world! Switch to decaf and apply yourself to some long term skullduggery. Leave the smash and grab to the amateurs, villain. You're better than that.


	110. The Heroescope: 09 May Taurus

May 9  
Taurus

Heroes:   
Oh Hero, you are still doing the DEW! Mischievous Mercury is pranking your pragmatic sign and the combination leaves you full of practical ideas but buzzing like a bumblebee and too flighty to land on any one plan. You'll be talking a good game but not playing one until your Hermes-etic high dies down since the messenger god's sign leaves you flighty and frenetic and dashing from hither to yon, while your teammates and loved ones yawn and swap your coffee to decaf (again!). Don't plan on getting too much done today, but even so, it's not a total waste. Grab a stack of books or download a course, and put that overactive mind to work on the summer reading list. 

Villains:  
The planets are putting wings on your feet, Villain, and you're feeling flighty indeed with that mischievous messenger Mercury doing a tapdance in your practical sign. The fleet god's planet will leave you talking a great game and bouncing like a five year old on a caffeine and sugar high. Until the buzz wears off, you'll probably want to talk the talk more than walk the walk because Mercury's known for being fleet, not focused. You won't want to buckle down much until Mercury moves on, but that doesn't mean the time's wasted. Grab a fun book, or take an online course in data security or building codes. Or maybe spend some time playing that new single person shooter game . . . It'll all be good when you finally get around to hacking code, or other acts of creative destruction for fun and profit.


	111. The Heroescope: 10 May Taurus

10 May   
Taurus

Heroes:  
You'll feel like a giant today, Hero, with your feet firmly planted in practicality but your head in wooly clouds of optimism and ambition. But when you're a giant then you run into obstacles the size of the Chrysler Building. And the Empire State. And . . .well. You get the idea. Lots of obstacles. But you didn't put the spandex on because you're a pushover! It's taken hard work to get where you are, in your underwear and fighting crime, and it'll take more hard work to get past that wardrobe malfunction to reach your goals. If you truly want to reach for the stars, then you know that hard work will take you there.

Villains:  
The stars see you, Villain, they see your towering ambition and your ruthless, down and dirty practicality. And today, you'll find obstacles befitting your giant ego. And lots of them. But that's nothing new – between the regrettable failure of the world to simple give you what you want, and so richly deserve, and the nuisance value of pesky, primary color clad heroes, you have learned to take impediments in stride, step on them, and kick them to the curb. Being discouraged is for wimps with incompetent attorneys. You know that hard work is the key. Including the hard work of your lawyers and the hard work of the people whose products you steal, but still, hard work. With enough hard work of yours, and stolen and bought by you, how can you fail to climb as high as you want? Even to the stars (preferably in a stolen space ship!).


	112. The Heroscope: 11 May Taurus

11 May   
Taurus

Heroes:   
Do you feel like work is difficult Hero? What else is new? The day job where you need to keep your boss and colleagues from figuring out you're a hero even as you sneak off at random times that are coincidentally timed for a hero appearing on the breaking news? Your second job where you strive against the forces of evil and jock itch? It doesn't help that your boss is an opinionated and seldom right, or that your teammate keeps asking if her new costume makes her rear look big or your sidekick wants your opinion on a new (and lame!) fighting style. But while your desires are to tell them the cold, hard, facts, logic is telling you that these people can fire you, punch you into low earth orbit, and refuse to pet sit when you have to go to heroing out of town. Ultimately, you will probably be happier if you suppress those urges and engage in a rare and welcome bout of pragmatism. It may feel like that bad kind of compromise, but if you stop fretting about getting what you want, you may be pleasantly surprised to find you want what you get. 

Villains:  
You may feel caught in a difficult situation at work today, Villain, and speaking the truth will often just lead to unfortunate chains of events like that one felony assault issue that cost your your health insurance. Fortunately, your logical mind can usually overcome the urge to choke the life out of some fool, at least long enough until you can do it without witnesses. Suppressing those feelings short term can really pay off in the long run. Don't be too concerned about knuckling under or losing your villainous cred, either. If you pass on those first urges, you may find yourself pleasantly surprised by how tasty revenge is as a cold dish!


	113. The Heroescope: 12 May Taurus

12 May   
Taurus

Heroes:   
The steadfast Taurus Sun is at odds with unstable Uranus today, and this leaves you antsy and anxious, Hero. You may find yourself restless and on the prowl for mischief but that's pretty standard for you. More critical is the temptation to take risks you would normally pass by. Punching above your weight class might be dramatic and the cliffhangers are great, but it's also a good excuse for the writers to transition a second banana or sidekick out of short pants and right into your costume!. Acknowledge your desires to pursue evil at risk of life and limb and work with them instead of trying to ignore them. Suppression just makes the pressure build and not all climaxes are good ones. Find a way way to let off that steam before you end up in real hot water!

Villains:  
What a day, Villain. The good old Taurus bullshit Sun is at odds with the off-its-meds Uranus and the upshot is a flaming fart of a day where things keep blowing up in your face. Frustration and nerves may drive you to take even more risks than the normal rate of villainous insanity and that urge can cost you dear. Acknowledge your nerves and general unease – trying to ignore them can only make them worse. Finding a new outlet for your nefarious needs will meet that desire for change and may save you a long and unpleasant encounter of the good guy variety.


	114. The Heroescope: 13 May Taurus

May 13   
Taurus

Heroes:  
Even if it's raining out, it's a sun-shiny day, Hero, and the Sun and Jupiter are in conjunction! These happy astral bodies are expanding your horizons and empowering you to soar on the wings of your optimism, reveling in your powers and bouncing high on the rush of being a hero. Go on and enjoy, Hero, but remember that today's good times can become tomorrow's rumbly tummy, achy head, and bruised knuckles. Not to mention all those runs in your spandex! Pay attention to your limits out there, Hero. You can play hard, work hard and hit hard without going too far.

Villains:  
It's a day to lift your eyes from your meticulously detailed evil plans, Villain! The Sun is in conjunction with that astral party boy, Jupiter, and your horizons are expanding. The world is your oyster, Villain, and the World Bank, Congress, and Stark International are your pearls! On a day like this you are going to live large and indulge, but remember, tomorrow's tummy and head might be fixed by Alka Seltzer but that lawyer bill will mess with your budget for lethal toys and fast cars in a very ugly way. So go on, Villain, knock over a bank, launch an internet scheme, bribe a few candidates but save the big bad stuff for another day, okay?


	115. The Heroescope: 14 May Taurus

May 14   
Taurus

Heroes:  
It's a bullish day, Hero, as determined Taurus and logical Mercury team up to help you set priorities. It might seem like saving the world and your main squeeze are easy to prioritize over your day job and Yahtzee night with that team you've been trying to join, but those distractions are often stepping stones to yet other goals that can seem just as important. It's easy to get frustrated when your civilian life is stalled and your heroic life seems to just be about punching out the same losers over and over. It's tempting to blame others, such as writers, for putting you in this repetitive grind, but this is all on you and your own fear of failure. You keep setting deadlines but in the real world, things take longer than you plan, or want, and it's easy to start feeling defeated. Lighten up, remember you've got a job, and an interesting life, good friends, and fantastic abs. Those and your willpower will help you overcome a variety of obstacles!

Villains:  
Concentration is a natural skill for any Villain worth his or her salt (and pepper, and rosemary and thyme . . ) but sometimes it can be easy to succumb to the lures of your job. There are so many things competing for a villain's attention, including the job, revenge, nefarious schemes, not choking one's inferiors, the appeal of tying up scantily clad heroes who then flex their magnificent bodies . . .yes, so many distractions! But logical Mercury and determined Taurus comes to the rescue today to keep your maleficent mind focused on your priorities and goals. The down side is that resisting all that temptation can leave you frustrated. Being deprived of a well-staged vengeance or a keenly crafted crime can feel like stifled creativity. It's easy to blame others when frustration sets in and let's face it. It really is their fault. After all, if the world and its heroes were properly respectful you'd be revered as the divinity you are, but sometimes, it's true, there's a niggling little bit of anxiety, a fear that you might fail and end up with a few more loose teeth and another government subsidized vacation in the local penitentiary. But these are trifling obstacles, and your willpower will overcome them all and drive you ever onward until they're all on their knees and bowing to you!


	116. The Heroescope: 15 May Taurus

May 15   
Taurus

Heroes:  
Your friends, colleagues, and teammates think you’re a solid rock of reliable and stolid confidence, Hero, but little do they know the seething pit of insecurity that is your inner life. You aren’t actively hiding the booby-trap of your anxieties, but your natural charm can make it hard for others, who are caught up in their own problems, to see you need love and support too, Hero. But the universe that gave you superpowers still loves you and shows it by giving you a chance to build your self-esteem in the next few weeks. The astral bodies know that it’s not enough for YOU to have an astral body envied by all, not enough that you can wear spandex and make it look good, not enough to have a job, a hot sweetie, and the ability to kick villainous butt. These just give you more opportunities for performance anxiety, and the stars are reaching out to help you if you just let yourself be vulnerable with someone you trust. Expressing your uncertainty opens the door to a deeper conversation, and a few panels of angst and anguish can set your relationships up for the next story arc.

Villains:  
Hey Villain! You didn’t get into breaking bad because you lacked self-confidence, and you didn’t stay out of federal super-max because you lacked charm. But sometimes those assets backfire. Some days, even a villain wants a hug, and even a charming cad had moments of insecurity that others miss because of that glossy, engaging persona of yours. You may be a Master of the Universe, but sometimes even your bank loses money in public, or your campaign staffer outs your taste for young persons of your gender wearing fuzzy cartoon head masks. For the more successful and superlative of the super-villainous feels isolated in that mysterious Eastern European dictatorship, or that corporate aerie of evil. The stars understand. Even a villain needs a kind heart and listening ear, preferably still attached to the sentient being to whom they belong. Reach out, villain, express yourself, let yourself be vulnerable, and do try not to murder your confidant! That sort of behavior is tacky, even for a fiend like yourself.


	117. The Heroescope: 16 May Taurus

May 16   
Taurus

Heroes:  
Hey Hero! You're a Taurus warrior and that bullheadedness comes in handy today as you face the nexus of plotlines that have been leading up to this moment for months! Your day job, your night life, and your teammates are all competing for a slice of your life and even if you were Reed Richards you couldn't stretch far enough to meet all their needs. But don't let the stress push you into bad, hasty decisions. Avoid shortcuts (unless you need to leave room for a back feature!). Those quick fixes might feel smart at first but those patches are temporary and like retread tires, they'll shred and make a mess of your life just when you need them most. Better to have a little persistence and work towards a real solution to your problem, not just a patch.

Villains:  
Oh, Villain, you try to treat your life like a fabric on a loom, being woven according to a plan that only you know, but really it's just one big tangle today. All your nice threads are crossing each other and stressing you out. But you know how to deal with a Gordian knot. LASER! High explosives will also do the job, or even just a knife if you want to go old school, as long as it's a really BIG knife. You watch the heroes and see them eschewing short cuts, seeking permanent solutions, but solutions AND patches are for losers. Blowing stuff to atoms is how a REAL villain solves a problem!


	118. The Heroescope: 17 May Taurus

May 17  
Taurus

Heroes:  
Hey Hero! You're at another turning point in your life but what else is new? That happens every few issues, doesn't it? It feels like everything is spotlight and immense, but it always does. That's what a spandex life is like, larger than life, in all senses. But that's a fractured life, split between your main title and those team books and the backstory and the plot threads that some editor forgot were left in loose threads. Don't be overly concerned that you can't make all those plot threads tie up neatly into a pretty bow. The decisions you make now do matter, but they'll be playing out over months. Just let your daydreams flow without analysis, and your worries go without obsessing. As much as you can. After all, if that obsession is your raison d'etre then you are stuck with that bit of canon!

Villains:,   
Life is full of turning points, Villain, and you know perfectly well that observer bias makes each one feel more important than the ones before. But in the real four color world, this one might not be as big as it feels. It's true that these choices do set your new direction, but even a powerful and puissant bad guy or gal like yourself has limited knowledge of the future (you prescient types can just skip today's 'scope, but you already knew that because you're prescient!). Don't be too concerned if you can't figure out how to get your desires and goals to harmonize perfectly; a little dissonance keeps things lively and lets new tunes emerge! Just keep humming along and give those tunes time to reach the chorus and bridge, and you'll have a great metal tune of malice on your hands!


	119. The Heroescope: 18 May Taurus

May 18  
Taurus  
Heroes:  
Oh Hero, there's all this pressure in your life pulling and pushing you in all kinds of directions. Bosses push you to be more ambitious. Hottie honeys push you to be more romantic. Teammates push you to play well with others and villains push you to . . .well. Really villains are pushing to drive you nuts and maybe kill you. The temptation to cave in to any of them is strong and angst-ridden but resisting, holding your ground, will help you grow. Others will seem to judge you and may of them will actually be judging you and a few of those will be running ranting editorials in their papers, and their attacks and scrutiny would wear on anyone. Try not to get too frustrated hero. They may stymie your progress, but small steps are better than none at all.

Villains:  
You're under steady pressure to change, Villain. That's a given. Defense attorneys pressure you to admit guilt, and therapists pressure you to talk about your toilet training. Not to mention those pesky heroes pressuring you to give up easily. It's a bit stressful. It might even tire you out and make you want a vacation, to get away from the prying eyes and flashing fists. But that's the kind of opposition that helps a decent villain like you learn, and grow, and inspires you to greater heights of theft to pay for any vacation worth the taking. If those benighted fools frustrate you too much, there's always the deathray option. That tends to reduce the nuisance value though perhaps there are more enlightened approaches. Remember, those people might be useful some day. But if you can't resist then don't. The stars understand. Tolerance may be a leap of emotional maturity, but some villains need to take baby-steps.


	120. The Heroescope: 19 May Taurus

May 19  
Taurus

Heroes:  
Hey Hero! You have a 1st of Physicality and it is a big party house! This is definitely a day for the team books, crowded with characters. With an audience of planets, stars, and other astronomically amazing bodies, you want to to look your best and you've dressed to the nines in your best new spandex, showing off those perfects abs and buns. But remember, beauty is only skin deep. True beauty is what's under the mask, so today while you flex your pecs and bulge those biceps, remember to flex that inner self today. The perfect body may get you what you want, but it's your kind heart that'll get you what you need.

Villains:  
Roll out the bling, Villain. If you've been working on a new costume, today is the day to bring it out. Stars and planets and flashy bodies are crowding your 1st House of Physicality until it looks like the red carpet at the Oscars. To run in that crowd you need to look your best. Clothes don't make the villain, but they sure do help increase the press coverage! True beauty is only skin deep, but that's all you need to show up at your best on CNN, and we all know how the world loves beauty. That'll come in handy when you seek to take over a small country, win an election, or protest the innocence of your risky hedge fund. And while your rivals are green with envy, your bankroll is just green, and growing. Beauty is skin deep but greed goes all the way to the bone.


	121. The Heroescope: 20 May Taurus

May 20  
Taurus

Heroes:  
You like to fly high, Hero, but some days you’re grounded until you get your chores done. Today, Gemini’s Solar Eclipse activates your 2nd House of Self-Worth, and then Gemini looks around, picks up a metaphorical dirty sock and tells you that you need to clean up your life. You’ll try to just talk a big game about change, filling up panels with word balloons of angst and intentions, but that’s not enough to make things happen. You need to take action, and clean things up directly. But remember, quantity of work isn’t as important as quality. You don’t get to just toss all those socks in the closet of your psyche, you need to actually do some cleaning up!

Villains:  
There’s a Gemini Solar Eclipse activating your 2nd House of Self-Worth, Villain, and so far that’s the only second house you have! The fact is that your 1st Condo of Self-Worth leaves a lot to be desired and you know it, and you know who you blame too. While it’s always fun to sit in the villain bar and chat up the bartender with all your big plans, it’s even MORE fun to get out there and do some dirty deeds, preferably for loads of filthy lucre as well as fun. You already know quality counts more than quantity - after all, that’s why Nigerian scams are lame but abolishing bank regs and lobbying Congress gets you fame. All you bad boys and girls, take the day to get out there and work that voodoo that you do!


	122. The Heroescope: 23 May Gemini

May 23  
Gemini

Heroes:  
You're in an uproar today, Hero! Your moods are all over the place, one minute trying to get work done, the next flying off the handle and out the window to rescue a damsel or dude in distress, only to find yourself in a throw down with a super-villain and then racing back to work while the boss things you're on an extended coffee break and wash, rinse, repeat! It's hard to get anything done when you're changing like an Etch-a-Sketch, and being all over the map like that can make it hard to keep an even temper. But you can reduce your frustration (and, not coincidentally, reduce the risk of being fired!) by taking on only what you know you can finish. Think carefully before you take that big project at work, maybe while you're shimmying into the spandex to respond to that police scanner call for a lady reporting a space alien playing croquet on her lawn. If you're facing a team of villains, be willing to call in help instead of trying to take them on by yourself. It's not being lazy – limiting your goals actually helps make room for spiritual growth, and for a good story arc for the next few issues!

Villains:   
You have mood swings today villain, but what else is new? You always had mood swings like a teenage girl with PMS. The problem is that today it's getting in the way, delaying your new invention, distracting from that collateralized debt obligation you've been creating, disrupting the slow seduction of politicians, and generally interfering with the precision of your cunning schemes. Today isn't the time to try that world domination trick you had worked out. Limit your goals to a more approachable size, such as continental or even just local office pool domination instead, and you'll find yourself growing to meet the demands of future evil urges.


	123. The Heroescope: 24 May Gemini

May 24  
Gemini

Heroes:  
Your ruling planet, Mercury, returns home and like the fleet footed thing he is, sets all kinds of things running faster. That includes your thoughts, which will speed up, and unfortunately it also includes the pace of your life. If you thought it was hectic before, Hero, just look out! Crisis on infinite deadlines! Work picks up, your sweetie is feeling the hot flush of spring and picks up the pace, and don't get us started on the super-villains. With all that going on, it'll be tough to find time to catch up with how you feel. Avoid making any real commitments right now, hero. Enjoy those guest shots in other books, and pursue your interests but don't commit to any single path just yet.

Villains:  
That smash and grab specialist, Mercury, is back in his home planet, and ruling your life villains! Your ideas are buzzing but so is everything else in your life. Not like things weren't already busy enough, but suddenly you're the celebrity baddie of the spring season. Don't worry, though, it's a good time to just get out there and sample life. Don't settle on any one arch nemesis yet. Take a little time to enjoy yourself, sampling the options for evil that are available to you. Explore your villainy, knowing there'll be time to settle down and commit to a dastardly path, all in due time.


	124. The Heroescope: 25 May Gemini

May 25  
Gemini

Heroes:  
What are you thinking, Hero? Do you know? Are you SURE? Because your subconscious is talking at the same time as the rest of the world and it may get pretty confusing in your head! It may be the bats telling you to avenge your parents or Cerebro telling you of a mutant attack or perhaps just something as mundane as your desires being at cross purposes with your duty, but the voices in your head are sending mixed signals. Don't expect the people around to you hear those voices, hero (unless you really ARE Professor X!). Most humans, post-humans, super-humans, and others of the sentient persuasion need to use words. Find your courage and find a friend who you know isn't mind controlled and isn't selling your story to the tabloids, and share that confusion you're feeling. It can help bring clarity back to your mind, it'll deepen that friendship, and as added bonus points it'll let you get a chunk of exposition done without putting the plot on hold!

Villains  
Villain, the stars see you and the indecision you feel. It's natural to be confused about your goals sometimes, especially when your subconscious and your super-ego are wrestling and leaving your libido to mind the store. Don't write this off as just the usual voices you hear, villain. This time, pay attention to those conflicting voices and consider finding a friend to confide in. Just make sure they won't turn state's evidence the next time they're looking at time themselves!


	125. The Heroescope: 26 May Gemini

May 26   
Gemini

Heroes:  
It's all about integrity today, Hero. Your life is full of dramatic gestures. Even your wardrobe is a dramatic gesture, and today those gestures can have a big impact on those closest to you. Your teammates, your sidekick, your best friends, and the main squeeze, all see you, and recognize you for who you are. A sincere and honest gesture (other than a punch laid on a super-villain of course!) will go a long way but it's got be real. Faking it for effect is going to go over about as well as the last three times you faked your own death (and remember cleaning the rotten casseroles out of your fridge after those?). Be willing to live big and blatant, but be real about it.

Villains:  
Your life is all about draaaahhhMA Villain, the stars know, and your drama has a huge impact. Your dramatic gestures have crashed global markets, corrupted national elections, changed city skylines, and ripped off Peter Parker's Aunt May in a really ill-considered case of identity theft. (Ahem. The less said about that the better). Today your gestures will have even more impact than usual, and the ones closest to you will be most affected. That's normal, of course, since the people standing next you usually get bruised when a hero punches you into them but today there will be impact on the people you care about, too. A dramatic gesture done for effect will likely backfire, though let's face it. Most of your gestures for effect have precisely the kind of mass property damage you intended but at least try to honestly, truly, really MEAN your malicious intent today Villain. Honesty, after all, is the best policy.


	126. The Heroescope: 27 May Gemini

May 27  
Gemini  
Heroes:  
You’ve been stymied Hero, with long running plot twists and cliffhangers, but it’s time for a climax! This is when all those plot threads come into the picture and, if you’ve been doing your best and tying up loose ends, you’ll have a tidy knot in your hands. On the other hand, unacknowledged loose ends will come back to haunt you as a massive tangle that snares everyone around you. It’s time to get busy, run down those neglected leads, those overlooked crimes, those naughty rotters you’ve let slide. If you’ve got outstanding villains, then work on cancelling their checks.

Villains:  
A fearless villain like you never quails before hard work, though you’re much too smart to seek it out if you can avoid it! You’ve been frustrated recently, denied the fruits of your felonious labor but it’s harvest time and there are some heroes who are ripe to be plucked. Satisfaction is around the corner if you buckle down and plow through those messy details. If you’ve been letting things pile up, now’s the time to get to work and clear the decks. Shoot a few sidekicks, blackmail a few teammates, bribe a few morally ambiguous types and you’ll be well on your way to a clean sweep. Put in the work, villain, and you’ll get to show them why you’re the Prime Evil in this show.


	127. The Heroescope: 29, 30, 31 May Gemini

May 29  
Gemini  
   
Heroes:  
Hey Smarty-Spandex pants. Your heroic wardrobe choices may still be garish but your mind is top notch right now with three planets in your mentally agile sign. But be careful – remember, the planets don’t turn you into Spock! Your emotions are running just as high as your intelligence and it would be very easy to let all that mental energy go to waste in anxiety and emoting. Instead, focus on logic and reason and let your head guide you, not your gut, as you try to balance those high flying spandex hijinks of yours with your civilian life and loves.  
   
Villains:  
Hey Villain. Your life is always a balancing act with your reason and self-discipline restraining your sincere and heartfelt desire to choke, or at least rip off, the lesser beings who dare to share your airspace. Right now, with three planets in your mentally nimble sign, you’ve got an edge against your own bad attitude but that doesn’t mean you can just slack off. When considering the work/life balance between your world-domination goals and your desire for love, affection, and devoted minions, be sure to use that head of yours and keep your felonious impulses under tight control.

 

May 30  
Gemini

Heroes:  
Some heroes have two fists of steel, Hero, but with that hottie Venus in your sign, you have charm so strong that oozes out of your pores. Too bad that's not true of everyone. While you're schmoozing, you may find that your teammates, your co-workers, even your trusty sidekick, are seething and making you grind your teeth. It could be easy lose your cool and be uncool if you don't pay close attention to your feelings. Arguments might be good for sales and good for exposition but in the long run, magic phrases will build your team better than tragic phrases so try to remember that you aren't the only one who feels that tension, and instead of giving in to your inner villain, let your charm carry you to the high road of kindness and good listening skills.

Villains:  
You are a charming cad, Villain, so use it. With Venus in your sign, you've got that dark, shiny sex appeal that makes Cruella so much more fun than Cinderella. And on a day like this, being a villain can be a good thing as the losers around you show their complete lack of social graces and wind up irritating everyone, including you. A hero would listen kindly and help these dull clods find inner peace but you get to help them adjust their attitude in the most efficient way possible. Don't be afraid to manipulate, distort, and coerce people too selfish to realize that you are are the center of the universe.

May 31  
Gemini

Heroes:  
What a difference a day makes, Hero! You were charming your way out of trouble yesterday but today your dark skies can turn blue and the bluebird of happiness is singing its tune! Of course troubles don't really vanish overnight so a few lingering plots twists remain to keep your arc lively, but your lighthearted and positive outlook will make it easier to enjoy those knock-down, drag-out villain fests. Take a little time to enjoy decking a dastard or at least take a few minutes to meditate and contemplate the pleasures of life. You might find your daydreams come through and true when it's least expected by you!

Villains:  
Yesterday's storms are clearing and today the bluebird of happiness is taking a dump on the Geminis out there, Villain. While this can make a mess, it also means that you're favored more than most of the nefarious nincompoops who walk the dark path to wealth, power, and a rent controlled apartment in a good neighborhood. Let yourself enjoy your successes today, and take a minute to visualize and meditate on the day that your evil schemes deliver the world, or at least the World Bank, into your control. You wouldn't be taking the risks of a villainous career if you didn't expect a big pay off for the crimes, but even so, you might find you get even more than you hoped in the end.


	128. The Heroescope: 03 June Gemini

June 3  
Gemini

Heroes:  
It's guest star day, Heroes! The frisky Sagittarius Moon is brightening up that 7th House of Partnerships that's been getting so stale. You may have been taking your partner, and teammates, for granted but a new Moon sweeps a lot of interesting relationships your way, inspiring you to make new friends. Find creative ways to interact with these original characters, hero. If you're an indy book you may even find some VERY creative ways to interact (but be sure to keep that Trojan House of protection around, Hero! There's a difference between new and risky). Don't expect these new encounters to be same old same old – it's time to try something different for a change! 

Villains:  
Hey Villain! Is there a title you've been wanting to visit but haven't found the time? Today is your day! That freewheeling archer Sagittarius has plunked a big old moon in your 7th House of Partnerships and that does NOT mean a limited liability corporation. Go out and partner, and enjoy it, villain! This is a great chance to get a Trojan, er, horse inside enemy lines and see open up those new fronts for exploration. You won't be attracting your regular death row groupies today, Villain, so get ready for fresh meat and new chances. Given your usual crew, this can only be an improvement!


End file.
